making ripples

Distractions

2009-03-30T11:27:00.009-05:00

This past weekend was very busy and full of distractions, and for that I am so grateful. Two of my South African kiddos had birthdays this weekend, and each of their stories is so special to me. I was thinking of them a lot, but was glad not to have too much time alone to think. It usually just makes me miss Africa and feel sad that I'm not there with the babies.

Saturday was Lewis' 7th birthday. His story is such a testimony to God's sovereignty and faithfulness. When Lewis was only 9 months old, he was rescued from his dying mother's arms in Freedom Park and brought to Lighthouse. He was also dying of AIDS and was not expected to live more than a few weeks. But God had other plans for Lewis, and he is now a healthy (and very funny) little boy.

Lewis - 9 months old

When I talked to Lewis on Skype a few weeks ago, he reminded me that his birthday was coming up and wanted to know if he could expect "a package from the United States." I responded, "Well, what do you think?" Lewis just laughed and said, "I think yes." Lewis should have received swimming goggles and two small water guns from me last week. Although I'm sure Lewis was thrilled, Mama Elsie is not going to be happy with me!

Lewis - last summer (age 6)

On Sunday, baby Christopher would have celebrated his first birthday. He lost his battle with AIDS and went to be with Jesus back in September. The week before he died I spent so much time wrestling with God. I kept praying that God would heal him, but knew in my heart that healing him by taking him home would be the best thing for him. Christopher's mother was an HIV-infected prostitute and was saving up money to be able to take him from Lighthouse and move down to Cape Town. Let's just say that Jesus will take much better care of him than any of us on earth ever could.

Christopher - 5 months old

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things."
Psalm 103:1-5

Happy Birthday Koketso

2009-03-04T11:24:00.010-06:00

Today I'm thinking about little Koketso who is celebrating her 2nd birthday. She was just getting to be a pro at walking when I left, so I can't believe that she's already 2! What a big girl!

Koketso is quite the little comedian. Within minutes of being in her crib, she would have her pants off and would be laughing as she dangled them over the side of her crib. I'm pretty sure she learned this from Mbali who would strip down completely naked on a regular basis and laugh herself silly at my response.

"Mbali, where are your clothes?" Commence hysterical 2-year-old laughter.

Mbali

Anyhow, I'm pretty sure Koketso was paying attention and decided she wanted to be in on the naked fun. So I would find Koke's pants and Mbali's entire wardrobe on the floor beneath their cribs. So funny.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Koke! Missing your sweet face and praying for you every day!

Joy

2009-02-23T23:02:00.006-06:00

I talked to my kids on Skype today. It was the best 30 minutes ever. Hearing their little voices was so emotional and so wonderful. I, of course, got off the phone and cried.

Cried because I was so overcome with joy.

Cried because I miss them.

Cried because I love them so much and want so desperately to be with them.

Cried because this disease is supposed to be killing them one day at a time, but instead God has filled them with so much energy and life.

Cried because God is so good, and I'm so blessed to be a part of the bigger picture.

When did this happen, and why did he choose me? I'm so broken and sinful and need his grace just like everyone else. And somehow part of His plan was for me to be let in on these wonderful things He is doing halfway across the world. An AIDS orphanage is supposed to be a sad, horrendous place where children go to suffer and die and people turn away their eyes because they can't bear to see the injustice of it all. But instead it's this place of life and of hope, and I am so honored to have been a part of it.

I am so humbled. And so grateful. God is worthy of all the praise and glory.

Skype Date

2009-02-22T23:09:00.009-06:00

Tomorrow morning I am using Skype to call the kids in the Main House at Lighthouse (Annah, Dineo, Mary, Lewis, and Mpho)! I couldn't even talk about it today without getting choked up. I just hope that I can sleep tonight! I will be sure to update again after I talk to them.

Nay Nay

2009-02-03T21:19:00.007-06:00

All day today I've been thinking of little Reneilwe who is celebrating her 3rd birthday today over in South Africa. My very first day in the toddler room, she ran up to me and motioned to be picked up. I knew in that moment that I was going to love that place.

Another special moment I shared with Reneilwe was a day that she wasn't feeling well. I found her in the toddler room curled up on a blanket in the middle of a room of loud active toddlers. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn't just looking for attention. I picked her up and sat down in a chair in a corner away from the other kids and just rocked her until she fell asleep. I then explained to the caregivers that she was sick and wouldn't be joining the other kids for lunch, that she needed to rest.

Every Friday Reneilwe's father would come to get her at the shelter. She was always so excited to see him. We would explain to the kids that "Nay Nay" (as they all call her) was going to see her family until Sunday. All the 2 and 3 year olds would wave and yell, "Bye Nay Nay!!" It was so adorable!

I think just recently Reneilwe went back to her family permanently. I'm really happy for them that they are financially able to do so and happy for her because I know that she loves being with them. If you have a minute, say a prayer for Reneilwe and her family as they celebrate her birthday.

Missing you, Nay Nay. Happy Birthday, precious girl.

New Pictures

2009-01-29T16:32:00.009-06:00

It had been almost 3 months since I had seen an updated picture of my favorite little munchkin Karabo. Today I was so excited to see several recent pictures of her. She is 10 months old now and looks exactly as I imagined she would look. I, of course, started crying because I was so overjoyed to get to see her sweet little face. I miss her more than words can express.

Isn't she beautiful? Look at those two little teeth!

4 Months Later

2008-12-29T14:54:00.002-06:00

I've been home from Africa for more than 4 months now and thought it was about time for a real update on my life. I'm not sure if any of my faithful blog readers even check this anymore since I have updated so little in recent months.

I have one semester left of college. Two more nursing classes and I'm a college graduate. I have mixed feelings, of course. Part of me is ready and excited to see what the future holds, and another part will be sad to see this chapter of my life end. It's been such a great chapter. :)

I'm planning on spending some time in South Africa this summer. I thought maybe that feeling of wanting to be there more than anything else would go away with time...but it hasn't. I do, however, feel certain that God is calling me to come back to the U.S. at the end of the summer (probably before August since I have several friends getting married in August). I've been praying that He would lead me wherever it is that He wants me to go and that His will would be my will. In the meantime, I'm trying to be patient, not get ahead of myself, and just enjoy the time I have left in school.

"Trust in the the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T17:39:00.001-06:00

6000 Miles

2008-12-04T23:44:00.009-06:00

Most days I do pretty well, but occasionally there are still nights like tonight when I look at my pictures from this summer and I just can't hold back the tears. Sometimes I miss them so much it hurts.

Broken

2008-08-19T20:08:00.007-05:00

As I was preparing to spend my summer serving God in South Africa, one of my biggest concerns was that after having had several opportunities to witness poverty and injustice firsthand, I might not be as affected by what I saw and experienced in South Africa. I didn't want to ever feel numb to people who are suffering.

I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God to break my heart over the things that break His heart. I hoped that my time in South Africa would help me to understand God's heart for the world rather than just for our country.

I've been back in the United States now for just over a week, and I am certain that God answered my prayers in big ways. I told my family the other day that not only did God break my heart over the people of Africa, he wrecked it. My heart was broken to pieces every single day by what I saw and experienced in South Africa, and I will never be the same again.

Now that I am home, it's difficult to think about anything besides how deeply I desire to return to Africa. I miss the kids at Lighthouse more than words can describe. Some days I almost feel as though I'm mourning the loss of a loved one.

At first I just wanted this sadness and this brokenness to go away. I just wanted to feel normal again. But I'm realizing as it gets a little bit easier to wake up in the United States each morning that I don't want the brokenness to go away. I asked God to break my heart, and I'm so grateful that He did.

My brokenness is a daily reminder to cry out to God on behalf of the people in Africa who are suffering and living in shacks and dying of AIDS and struggling to feed their children. It reminds me each day to be so grateful for all the many blessings God has given me and that I need to be a good steward of what I've been given.

But most of all, it reminds me of the best summer of my life, the summer I spent with my Lighthouse kids, who changed my life more than I ever expected. Those 35 kids have a very special place in my heart, and I left a little piece of my heart behind with them.

I've already checked out plane tickets to South Africa for next summer. I'll just have to wait and see where God takes me next. If South Africa is his plan, you may never see me again. :)

Final Goodbyes

2008-08-06T13:57:00.006-05:00

I'm going to miss South Africa so much.

I'm going to miss the mountains and the red dirt and the brush fires.

I'm going to miss the palm trees and the fresh fruit and the beautiful animals.

I'm going to miss being able to watch the news in five different languages and how clearly you can see the stars at night.

Even more so, I'm going to miss the Betzer family, the Lighthouse staff, and the wonderful caregivers and volunteers.

I'm going to miss the awesome people I've met through the Assemblies of God church, the youth group kids, and the people in my Wednesday night small group (who threw me a farewell party tonight!).

I'm especially going to miss the kids at Lighthouse Children's Shelter.

I'm going to miss tying shoes and listening to the same kids' worship CDs over and over and pushing kids on swings.

I'm going to miss answering to "mommy" and constantly having a toddler or two on my hip and chasing kids around.

I'm going to miss working on body parts with Tshepiso and working on colors with Phemelo.

I'm going to miss breaking Grace's sandwich into bite-sized pieces every day and watching Gomotsegang spill her milk all over the place.

I'm going to miss reading bedtime stories to the kids in the Main House and saying bedtime prayers.

I'm going to miss hearing Lebogang screech "MAA MAAAA!!!" from across the property and the way Mpho says "Sa-MAN-ta!" every time he sees me.

I'm going to miss feeding babies and getting covered in baby food daily and using my Tide Pen on my clothes every night.

I'm going to miss Mbali's laugh and Rethabile's two front teeth and Joshua's giraffe slippers.

I'm going to miss knowing how to spell every child's name, how many months old they are, their favorite activities, and what foods they won't eat.

I'm going to miss knowing to whom each and every little shoe belongs and knowing each baby just by hearing their cry.

I think more than anything or anyone else I'm going to miss Karabo whom many of the Lighthouse staff call "Sam's baby."

I'm going to miss her smile, the way she smells, and her tiny little toes.

I'm going to miss the way she sucks on her fingers when she's hungry, her sweet little laugh, and the way she looks when she's sleeping.

I'm going to miss her the way she looks like a baby bird when she eats soft porridge, the way she giggles when I kiss her fingers, and, most of all, I'm going to miss seeing her and spending time with her every single day.

Basically I've been an emotional wreck for the past couple days, and I think I'm just ready for these painful goodbyes to be over with.

Sheila's Adoption

2008-08-05T12:37:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I had the special privilege of going on another adoption. Sheila, who arrived at Lighthouse as a newborn and who just turned 2 years old in July, was finally adopted by a couple from Holland. This time Sophie, the Children's Coordinator for Lighthouse, got to be the one to actually hand her over because she has become very close to Sheila.

When we arrived in Pretoria, Sophie fed Sheila a quick snack, and then we met with Eva the social worker at Abba Adoptions. She asked a few questions about Sheila, particularly how well we thought she would handle being left with new people. She also told us that Thabo's new family made it safely back to Denmark last week and that they are all doing very well.

We drove over to the same guest house where Thabo's family stayed, and it just so happened that Sheila's new mom and dad were staying in the exact same room as Thabo's family! Sheila's parents were waiting outside when we parked and introduced themselves to us as soon as we stepped out of the car. They were obviously excited and very anxious to meet Sheila in person!

We walked back to their room and saw that they had decorated it with brightly colored balloons and streamers. Sophie and I sat on the couch, and Sheila sat on the floor by our feet. Her new parents also sat on the floor facing her so that they could interact with her.

Just like before, Eva asked us lots of questions about Sheila's personality and her schedule and her likes and dislikes so that the parents could learn more about her. Eva had their video camera running the whole time so that they can go back and hear our answers to questions again. Lorinda took lots of pictures with my camera and the parents' camera.

I absolutely loved Sheila's new family and cannot believe what a perfect match they are for her. For example, Eva had told them how much Sheila loves the color pink and that practically everything she wears is pink. So her mom was wearing a black, white, and hot pink dress, and her dad was wearing a light pink dress shirt. It was so cute.

Sheila also loves music and clapping out a rhythm and will sometimes even break out into song. And it just so happens that her new mom loves singing and is very involved in church choir. She was so excited when I told her about Sheila's love for music.

After about an hour, Eva told us to say our goodbyes. I gave Sheila a kiss on the cheek and told her to be good for her new mommy and daddy. Then Sophie picked her up and gave her a big hug and said her goodbyes. Sheila's new mom held her as we walked out and started to tear up as she seemed to realize that Sheila was finally theirs to keep. It was such a beautiful picture seeing their new family standing in the doorway waving goodbye.

Sheila was very serious through the whole placement and never laughed or even smiled. But I'm sure that she was confused about what was taking place. She never appeared to be upset and seemed to become more and more comfortable with her mom and dad.

Please keep Sheila and her new family in your prayers as they get to know each other and adjust to their new family of 3.

Things I've Learned (pt. 2)

2008-08-03T11:15:00.007-05:00

The following are a few more things I've learned from my time here in South Africa.

- You don't jump rope in South Africa. You "skip rope."

- It is possible for humans and small reptiles to peacefully coexist in the same flat.

- Even with your best attempt at a South African accent, people will still ask you what part of America you come from.

- Never eat an entire can of baked beans in one sitting no matter how good it might sound.

- Dark brown hair dye will turn your hair black (but apparently everyone else besides me already knew that!).

- Many South Africans believe that if Barack Obama is elected president that it will be our country's downfall. (I still don't really understand why they think this.)

- In South African stores, you have to pay a little extra if you want your purchases to be put in plastic bags.

- Taxi drivers interpret stop signs as more of a "tap the brake before slamming on the gas" than an actual stop.

- Many South Africans think they have a lot of cows here. They have apparently never been to the Midwest.

- Pushing 4 toddlers on swings while carrying a 5th toddler on your hip is a really great form of exercise.

- Do not play in a sandbox with a little boy. No matter how sweet he is, he will eventually decide to throw sand at you because he is a little boy and that is what they do.

- You should really try to avoid naming your child Letlhogonolo because I am convinced that it is impossible to pronounce.

- Cheetohs and similar snacks are called "zimbas," and the kids love them (and also usually make a huge mess with them).

- Pacifiers (called "dummies") are absolutely necessary in a room of 10 babies.

- Some plants can live for 5 weeks without water. Take, for example, the one live plant in my flat that I thought was fake like all the others for 5 weeks. :)

Letting It Out

2008-08-02T06:19:00.006-05:00

I've been doing so well this past week just enjoying every moment with the kids and reflecting on how amazing this summer has been. I've been trying not to let myself feel too sad about leaving soon because I would much rather feel grateful for the time I've had already and for the short time I have left.

But last night as I was sitting on my couch listening to my iPod, I finally gave in. I was listening to songs that will always make me think of this place and these kids, and I started to cry. Once I started, I couldn't stop, but it felt so good to let it out and have a good cry.

This has been the best summer of my life. I am so grateful that God led me here and that I listened to him. I will never forget what I have learned and experienced here in South Africa, and I know that when I leave on Friday that I will be leaving a little piece of my heart behind. I have become so close to the Lighthouse kids, and I have no idea how I'm going to say goodbye to them.

Please be praying for me this week as I attempt to say my goodbyes to this place and to all the wonderful people I've met here...especially my babies.

R.I.P. Frankie

2008-08-02T05:59:00.006-05:00

Yesterday Lewis (age 6) found a dead bird behind a tree and showed it to the older girls and me. The girls named him Frankie after one of the maintenance guys at Lighthouse (named Frank) and decided that we needed to have a funeral for him. Annah, Hope, Dineo, Lewis, Mary, and I all gathered around Frankie as I said a few nice things about him to commemorate his short bird life.

I ran to the office to finish up the project I had been working on, and when I came back outside, the girls told me they had buried Frankie. My first thought was, "Eww, you touched the dead bird?" But it turned out they had just covered him with leaves and sand from the sandbox. Then they had picked some flowers from around the property and laid them on his grave. It was so cute.

Mary

Lewis asked me a little later if Frankie was just sleeping. I explained to him that he might look like he's sleeping, but he actually died and went to heaven to be with Jesus. Lewis wrinkled up his face and informed me that birds can't go to heaven. When I asked him why not, he told me that birds don't believe in Jesus so they can't go to heaven. Such a wise little boy.

A Sad Day in Kanana

2008-07-31T14:08:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I went with Pastor Noel and a couple girls from the youth group to the village of Kanana to do outreach like we always do on Wednesdays. We stopped at the AIDS clinic first to drop off donated clothing and food, so that the caregivers can give them to the people in the village who need them most.

Two weeks ago, on our last visit to Kanana, I walked over to the shack next to the AIDS clinic to meet the family who lives there. This shack is the only one near the clinic, and the family was outside, so I just decided to walk over there and say "hello" (or "dumela" in Tswana).

It turns out the mother spoke pretty decent English, so I was able to talk to her quite a bit. She also introduced me to her 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. The older boy and girl were school-aged, and then the younger boy was only 19 months old and absolutely adorable. He had a little toy that played music, and he would bob and sway to the music. It was really cute!

The mother explained to me that only the older boy was her own son. The girl was her sister's child, but that sister had died of AIDS several years ago. The littlest boy was her other sister's child, but that sister was very sick with AIDS and unable to take care of her baby. So here she is living in this tiny shack constructed of pieces of tin trying to feed and provide for 3 children. Unfortunately, her circumstances are not at all uncommon here in South Africa.

Yesterday when we arrived at the AIDS clinic, I walked over to see my new friend and her children. None of the kids were there. It was just the mother. I asked her how she was, and she told me "not good." She went on to tell me that early last week the 19-month-old boy had wandered up to the road, which is right next to the clinic, and was struck by a car. She ran to him and found that he wasn't breathing. From her description, it sounds as though he died instantly.

She cried as she told me what happened and confessed to me how guilty she felt about not watching him more closely. She also told me that she hasn't been sleeping or eating, that it's just too difficult for her. I felt so sad for her and kept reassuring her that this was an accident, that she cannot hold herself responsible for his death.

We also talked a lot about how it's difficult to understand why God allows bad things like this to happen. Before leaving, I gave her a big hug and told her I would be praying for her that God would comfort her and heal her hurting heart and give her his peace.

It was such a great talk, and I know that it was Jesus speaking through me to her. Looking back on this conversation, I have no idea what to say to a woman who has just buried her child, but at the time I was so certain of what I needed to say to her.

Please be praying for this woman and her two remaining children. She is also being evicted from the clinic area and is in the processing of tearing down her shack and rebuilding elsewhere. Please pray for comfort, healing, and peace and also that this situation would ultimately draw her and her children closer to Jesus.

A Minor Accident

2008-07-31T13:32:00.007-05:00

Tonight Janis and David hosted a nice dinner for all of us who live on the Lighthouse property as well as the managing staff and Dr. Neil, who is the Chairman of the Lighthouse Board. After dinner when I was helping Janis clean up, someone called me to come quickly into the toddler room. Someone had fallen and was bleeding.

It turned out that Gomotsegang, who is 2 1/2 but developmentally delayed because of her frequent AIDS-related illnesses, had managed to climb out of her crib and fall flat on her face. When I got there, she was screaming and blood was streaming out of her nose. I quickly grabbed the box of tissues and tried to lightly pinch her nose, but she cried even harder and waved her head around to get my hand away.

Plan B was to throw a towel over my shoulder and hold her and rub her back so that she would calm down. I was able to dab at her nose with the tissues to keep the blood from running down into her mouth. The bleeding slowed down when she stopped crying so hard, but she would occasionally start wailing again, and I'd have to go through several tissues to get the bleeding to stop again.

I walked around the bathing area with Gomotsegang and our box of tissues for over an hour until finally she had calmed down enough that Mama Shirley and I were able to put her in her crib to sleep.

I felt so bad for Gomotsegang. She obviously injured her nose and also looked like she was going to develop a nasty bruise on her forehead. This poor girl has already been through so much battling AIDS and tuberculosis and lots of other related illnesses. Please pray for her quick healing and also that her nose will not start bleeding again during the night.

A Special Visit

2008-07-30T14:15:00.003-05:00

It's been over two weeks now since Lorinda and I drove to Pretoria to hand Thabo over to his adoptive parents. The placement went really well, and now their new family of three has had the past two weeks to see the sights of South Africa and get to know each other better.

Yesterday morning one of the social workers from the adoption agency brought them to Rustenburg to visit Lighthouse so that Thabo's parents could see where he's been living for the past several months. Unfortunately, the adoption agency recently changed the way they do this visit and no longer allow anyone to see or interact with the adopted child. Instead each parent comes in separately while the other stays in the vehicle with the baby. I was glad to see Thabo's parents again, but would have liked to see Thabo as well.

Thabo's new mom came in first, and since I was the one who actually handed Thabo over to them, Janis asked me if I would show her around and explain everything to her. I first took her into the baby room where Thabo lived when he first arrived as an 8-month-old back in February. She took lots of pictures of the babies and the cribs, and I told her about a typical day in the baby room.

Then we walked over to the toddler room, and I was able to show her Thabo's bed where he had slept for a couple months before being adopted. Several of the kids ran up to her wanting to play or to be held, and I think she thought it was neat to meet Thabo's friends and playmates. After taking lots of pictures and looking around for a while, she thanked me and walked back out to the car.

Next Thabo's dad came into the office ready for his tour. He talked to Janis, Nomhle, and me for a little while about how the adjustment is going and about how Thabo has been making his preferences known. He was so good-natured when he lived at Lighthouse, but I think he is realizing that if, for example, he refuses to eat what he is given that something else will be placed in front of him. What a clever little guy!

I showed Thabo's dad around the baby room and the toddler room, and we also peeked into the kitchen and said "hello" to Mama Margaret while she was fixing the kids' morning snack. He even got to hear the kids pray before eating their snack, which is always really cute.

Before heading back out to the car, he gave a small box with a bow on top to Janis, Nomhle, Sophie, Lorinda, and me. He told me it was a gift to say thank you and also as a keepsake from Thabo's new family. I opened it later and found a beautiful necklace and two beaded bracelets inside.

After visiting Lighthouse, the social worker was going to drive them past the place in Rustenburg where Thabo was abandoned. I'm sure that was difficult for them to see, knowing that their son was left there by his mother and later picked up by the police.

Please keep Thabo's family in your prayers as they travel back to Denmark at the end of this week and also as they continue to adjust and get to know one another.

Starting Solids

2008-07-29T11:11:00.005-05:00

This week all the babies who turned 4 months old in July (including Karabo, Christopher, and Amogelang) were started on solid foods. I personally think it seems a little early to be giving them solids. I probably would have waited another month or two, but that is their policy at Lighthouse.

This afternoon I got to feed Karabo her baby food for the first time. It was so much fun. I would give her a tiny spoonful and she'd stick her tongue out to receive the food and shove most of it down onto her chin. I'd just keep sticking it back in there until eventually she ate some.

After she started to understand what was going on, she'd lie in my arms with her mouth wide open like a little baby bird. It was adorable. She'd gurgle and shake her head back and forth with her mouth open wide as she impatiently waited for the next spoonful of food.

I've given Karabo more bottles than I can count in the past few weeks, and every time I feed her I talk to her and give her lots of kisses. She, of course, doesn't respond in any way because her whole face is focused on downing her formula. But today as I fed her porridge and talked to her, she smiled and laughed and waved her arms around. It was really cute, but it also further prevented her from actually consuming her food since she was busy smiling and cooing and not focused on keeping the porridge in her mouth.

I am going to miss my little Karabo so much.

Latest Pictures

2008-07-28T11:56:00.009-05:00

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of the kids from this past week! Enjoy!

Amogelang

Sheila

Gomotsegang

Lebogang

Tshepiso

Gracie

Karabo and me

Reneilwe

Joshua

God of this City

2008-07-27T09:42:00.003-05:00

I love this song. We sang it in church yesterday morning, and by the end of the song, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. This song has so much meaning to me.

I first heard this song (called "God of this City") sung by Chris Tomlin at the Passion Conference in Chicago last fall. We were singing about our own cities and hometowns...that greater things were yet to come, that we could see God's hand at work.

When I was in Romania serving in the Gypsy village in May, we had music playing over these big speakers so that the Gypsy kids could dance. At one point, I was walking down the road tromping through the mud and the garbage with several kids holding my hands, and this song came on. It made me really emotional thinking about all the ways I had seen God working in the Gypsy village and knowing that his work had just begun, that greater things were yet to come.

Then yesterday I heard the song again at church in South Africa. Despite all the poverty and the people dying of AIDS and the families living in shacks and the violence and the prostitution and the babies being dumped in garbage piles, despite all that, I can see God moving in this place. I know He is working here and that greater things are yet to come for South Africa. I believe that with all my heart, and I know that He will continue to move here in big ways even after I leave.

Test Results

2008-07-27T09:29:00.005-05:00

Dr. Neil was unable to come as planned yesterday due to two unplanned surgeries, but he came today instead to do the rapid HIV tests on 4 of our babies. Otilia, the 1-year-old he tested, and my little Karabo were both negative. Praise God! Unfortunately though, both of our new babies, Themba and Thomas, tested positive.

Karabo

Since both of these babies are still very little, this test only indicates that both of their mothers were HIV positive. Babies have a small amount of their mother's blood in their circulation for up to 6 months after birth. Hopefully, they have only a small viral load and their immune systems will be able to fight it off. In that case, they will eventually test negative. But sadly, many babies are unable to fight off the virus and continue to test positive (meaning they too are HIV positive).

Themba

Another New Baby

2008-07-25T14:49:00.006-05:00

This afternoon another new baby arrived at the shelter. Thomas is about one month old and not much bigger than Themba, who is 2 weeks old today. Apparently, his mother has been neglecting him and just leaving him by himself, so her family stepped in and got a social worker involved.

I gave him the once over, and he looks very healthy. I didn't notice any signs of abuse, and he even seems to have been properly nourished. It made me sad though that he didn't cry at all when I was checking him out. All the other new babies have screamed and flailed around when they've first arrived and people are messing with them. Thomas didn't make a sound. I kept wondering if it's because he's learned in his short little life that crying doesn't make any difference. It doesn't sound as though his crying would prompt his mother to do something.

Please be praying for Thomas and his family situation. Unfortunately, it is quite possible that he will be allowed to go back to his mother or to a relative at some point, so please pray that God would intervene in these circumstances and provide him with a safe, loving place to live.

Please also say a prayer for Themba and Karabo, who are both going to be HIV-tested tomorrow when Dr. Neil comes to the shelter for his weekly visit. This initial test will determine the HIV status of their mothers since they will each have a tiny bit of their mothers' blood circulating in their bodies until they are 3-6 months old. If the test comes back positive, a baby still may be able to fight off the small amount of virus in his or her system, but many babies become HIV positive just like their mothers. Please pray for negative HIV tests tomorrow.

Hair Update

2008-07-25T14:40:00.005-05:00

I'm happy to report that my hair is no longer black. Now it's a really really dark brown. Lorinda took me to see the woman who does her hair today, and she washed it twice with peroxide in an attempt to strip the dye out of my hair. She told me that that would be much less damaging than bleaching it and starting over.

After two washes with peroxide though, she told me it probably wouldn't get any lighter but would still get more dried out with another wash. So we stopped. Lorinda and I were both disappointed with the outcome, so we decided to stop at a hair salon on the way home. Even though they were just closing up for the night, we were able to talk to them about my options.

The woman I spoke with told me she could give me brown highlights to lighten up the overall appearance of my hair. So I'm going in first thing tomorrow morning to have highlights put in. I feel really good about this place, and I am hopeful that my hair will look somewhat normal again after tomorrow. I can't wait!

Bedtime Prayers

2008-07-24T13:26:00.008-05:00

Tonight after dinner I walked over to the Main House to help Lewis, age 6, with his homework. Lewis has been seriously ill due to AIDS in the past and has fallen behind the other children his same age. Tonight I worked with him on writing his name since he will need to be able to so in order to move on to Grade 1. He is very good at "L" and "i" but has lots of trouble with the "e" and the "s."

Lewis

After homework, we picked out 2 bedtime stories, a Sesame Street book and a Dr. Seuss book, and I read them to the 5 kids who live in the Main House (Annah, Dineo, Lewis, Mary, and Mpho). Mpho, who is 2 years old, has finally mastered my name, and so a couple times while I was reading, he would cry out, "Sa-MAN-ta!!" It was hilarious. He has such a little personality.

Mpho

When we finished the stories, I herded the kids down the hall to their bedrooms. I tucked Mpho in and kissed him goodnight and then met the older 4 kids in the girls' room for bedtime prayers. The 3 girls got into their beds, and I sat on the floor with Lewis in my lap.

I prayed first, and then each one of the kids prayed in turn. There was some giggling in the middle, and Annah farted really loud while Dineo was praying so that, of course, got them going, but all in all they did pretty well staying serious and quiet.

Mary, who is 4 years old, prayed after me and asked that "Jesus would be in the girls' room and the boys' room and Mama Elsie's room and the bathroom and the kitchen." She also thanked God for Jesus and for the cross. It was a very nice prayer.

Mary

Dineo, who just turned 8 years old, prayed next. Her entire prayer was centered around Janis, and it went something like this: "Please be with Mama Janis when she goes back to America and when she visits her mommy and daddy and when she lives in a different house. And, God, please be with Mama Janis when she visits Brookie and Brittany and Curtis (Janis' two daughters and her son-in-law) and when she flies on the airplane."

At the end of her prayer, Dineo said, "Thank you, Jesus, for giving us eyes and ears and noses...(long pause)...and airports." Of course, there was lots of giggling after that, and I tried my best to remain serious.

Hope, Dineo, and Annah

I love saying bedtime prayers with the kids. I know I'm only 21 years old, but it seems like so much has happened in my life since the days when I was thanking God for giving me eyes and ears and asking him to bless my mom and my sister and my friends. It's a good reminder for me that I've got a whole lot more to be thankful for than I sometimes think about. Tonight when I say my bedtime prayers, I'm going to thank God for the kids and for their faith and for all that they've taught me when I thought I was teaching them.

More Goodbyes

2008-07-23T03:51:00.006-05:00

Today my friend Sam left for the airport in Johannesburg. She is heading back to the United States after 3 weeks at a children's hospital in Cape Town and 10 days here at Lighthouse. It has been really fun getting to spend this time with her in South Africa. Here are a few pictures of Sam with the Lighthouse kids. They are going to miss her too!

Seeing Sarah and Charity head home last week and now seeing Sam off today is making me realize just how soon it's going to be my turn to fly home. I'm definitely not ready to leave yet, and it makes me so sad to think of saying goodbye to everyone here, especially the kids.

I keep having dreams about being at home or at school, and at some point during the dream I realize that I'm no longer in South Africa and never got to say goodbye. I had a dream like that again last night. As much as I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends at home, it is going to be really hard to leave! If I didn't have to go back to college in August, I would definitely consider staying longer.

Addams Family

2008-07-23T03:33:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had the Addams Family theme song stuck in my head all day. I think it has something to do with the fact that I have black hair and look like Morticia. Sam and Shannon, who volunteers at Lighthouse a couple times each week, like the way it looks and think I should leave it. But I am so not adventurous when it comes to my hair.

First thing in the morning I hopped in the shower and shampooed my hair 7 times. No difference. Then last night Janis took me to the store to get some Head and Shoulders shampoo, which Shannon told me would help take some of the dye out. After 12 washes and rinses with the Head and Shoulders, the water in the shower had turned brown, but my hair was still black.

Sam told me today that it looks "almost brown" in the sunlight. Great. I'm thinking it's about time to call in the professionals. I'm actually really proud of myself though for not completely wigging out about my hair. I'm surprised that it hasn't made me cry, and (thanks to Sam) I've even been able to laugh about it and sing the Addams family theme song as we walk across the property.

I'll keep you posted on the status of my hair. Hopefully it will be back to brown soon, so I can look in a mirror again without feeling nauseous.

Hair Emergency

2008-07-21T15:40:00.004-05:00

Sam and I went to the store this morning to pick up a few things, and while we were there, we bought some hair dye for me. I've been thinking about coloring my hair a little bit darker brown sometime, and I decided to finally do it.

So tonight after dinner, we set up our hair studio in the bathroom and took the necessary precautions with towels and garbage bags to avoid dying everything in the bathroom dark brown. Sam has dyed people's hair like this several times before, so I had her dye it for me.

An hour and a half later, I had finished rinsing and conditioning my hair and took a look in the mirror. It looked a lot darker than I was expecting, but it was still really wet so I didn't freak out yet. Then after I dried it with my hair dryer, I realized that my hair was basically black! Then I freaked out.

Sam has been trying to help me stay calm by saying things like, "It's probably just the lighting." and "Black totally matches everything." Oh my goodness. I'm currently wearing one of Sam's hats with the hood of my sweatshirt up. That is my plan for hiding my black hair tomorrow, and then I'm hoping to go have it professionally fixed as soon as possible.

Oh man...

Baby Themba

2008-07-21T12:09:00.005-05:00

Little Themba arrived at Lighthouse last Tuesday and is 10 days old today. I was finally able to get a few pictures of him this afternoon. Isn't he sweet?

sleeping

eating

Karabo, Themba, and me

Proud

2008-07-20T12:10:00.008-05:00

I feel like being here and spending so much time caring for these children has given me a tiny glimpse into what it's going to be like to be a mom someday. I love these kids so much, and I've only known them for 2 months now. I can't even imagine how deeply a mother loves her own child.

Recently I've gotten a taste of the pride that a parent feels toward his or her child. My babies here have been growing and changing so much in these past two months and several of them have achieved new milestones in their development.

Tshwarelo, who is 6 months old, finally started sitting up by herself recently and just this past week started to get up on her hands and knees and scoot like she's going to crawl. I think she's going to start crawling any day now!

Tshwarelo

Rebaona, who turned 1 year old in June, has been standing by himself for weeks now and just took his first steps this past week. He's so pleased with himself, and we're all so proud of him too!

My little Karabo, who is about 3 months old, was lying on her tummy the other day, and she rolled over to her back. I picked her up and squeezed on her and told her how proud I was. Then, of course, I asked all the other volunteers and caregivers in the room, "Did you see that?? Did you see my baby roll over??" Looking back on that moment, I have to laugh at what a mom I'm becoming.

Karabo

I feel like such a proud parent. When I go to the youth service at the church on Friday nights, people ask me how my week was, and somehow my answer always revolves around "my kids." So-and-so got adopted this week, and we got a new baby who is only this many weeks old, and this little girl celebrated her birthday. My life is beginning to revolve around these kids, and I kind of love it. :)

P.S. Thank you so much for your prayers! I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. Still a little tired, but I was able to spend a few hours this afternoon with the babies and toddlers, and it was so good to see them!

Under the Weather

2008-07-19T14:35:00.005-05:00

Thursday night I didn't sleep well at all. My throat had been feeling scratchy all day, but then during the night I started getting congested and coughing. Poor Sam agreed to stay in my big bed with me after Sarah and Charity left, but I'm thinking she's probably regretting that decision now.

I'll spare you all the details, but I've been feeling under the weather since that night and just keep praying that God will at least give me more energy so I can love on the kids this week. Last night I went to bed at 10pm and woke up this morning at 10:30am. Lorinda, Sam, and I attended a women's conference at the church this afternoon, and when we got back at 5:30, I went back to bed for another hour. I just feel completely wiped out.

I also hope to get feeling better so I can visit little Themba. I don't mind being around the toddlers and older babies while I'm sick since they've all had runny noses and coughs and probably gave this to me. But I want to be really careful with Themba since he's only a few days old.

Please be praying that Themba and the other babies stay healthy and that I recover quickly so that I can continue to serve and be a blessing at Lighthouse during my last few weeks here.

Saying Goodbye

2008-07-17T13:24:00.005-05:00

Today we drove to Johannesburg to take Sarah and Charity to the airport. After living with me in my flat for the past 2 weeks, they are headed back to Indiana. It was really fun having them here and getting to know them. My friend Sam is going to be living with me for another week, which will make it easier to transition back to living by myself again.

On the way to the airport this morning, we stopped at a big open-air market in Hartebeespoort and did some souvenir shopping. I used my bartering skills and bought something for my sister and something for my best friend Joanna. The people running the little shops and booths were really pushy and would follow you around showing you this and that and trying to get you to stay longer. I already don't like shopping very much, so this was just stressful! I was happy to have made my purchases and be able to just sit with Hope eating banana chips. :)

Besides saying goodbye to Sarah, Charity, and Thabo this week, I also had to say goodbye to William and Lethlogonolo (whose name I still struggle to pronounce). William is 2 years old and went back to social services this week so that he can be placed in a home for children with special needs. He has not been diagnosed yet, but based on the behavior I've seen, I'm convinced he has some type of autistic disorder. Lethlogonolo is just over a year old and went back to his family this week.

William

Please be praying for William and Lethlogonolo as they make these transitions and also that William would be placed in a home where he can get the special care that he needs.

Lethlogonolo

New Baby

2008-07-16T15:07:00.005-05:00

While we were gone yesterday, another new baby arrived at Lighthouse. Like so many of the others, he was abandoned by his mother and brought to the shelter by the police.

Themba (pronounced "tem-bah") is only 4 days old and such a tiny little guy. I spent over an hour rocking him this morning, and he looked so peaceful sleeping all bundled up in his blankets. But shortly after I would set him down in his crib, he would begin to cry and squirm around.

All of the recently abandoned babies I've interacted with this summer have done this same thing, and I'm not exactly sure why. After a few days, they seem to realize that they are in a safe place and that being set down does not mean that no one is coming back for them.

Please be praying for Themba as he adjusts to his new surroundings at Lighthouse, and please also pray for his health, particularly his HIV status. The most common reason a baby this tiny is abandoned is because the mother is positive and assumes that her child will be also. But with good nutrition and the right medication, a baby born to a positive mother may possibly convert to HIV negative within the first few months of life.

Pilanesburg National Park

2008-07-16T14:40:00.007-05:00

On Monday after Thabo's adoption, Lorinda and I drove into Johannesburg to pick up my friend Sam, who has been down in Cape Town volunteering at a children's hospital for the past 3 weeks. She has about a week left in South Africa and decided to spend them with me here at Lighthouse. It has been so much fun having a friend from home here!

Yesterday Janis and David took Sarah, Charity, Sam, and me to Sun City for lunch and then to Pilanesburg National Park for the afternoon. Pilanesburg is a game reserve where you can drive through and see all kinds of African wildlife. We arrived at about 2pm and drove around until the park closed at 6pm. Apparently around dusk is the best time of day to spot animals.

Shortly after we drove through the main gates, we spotted a giraffe and its baby near the road. We stopped the car and took lots of pictures, of course. We also saw elephants, waterbuck, impala, wildebeest, kudu, tsessebe, hippos, monkeys, one crocodile, warthogs, and all kinds of beautiful birds. God really did an incredible job when he created all the animals!

When we stopped at the visitors' center in the middle of the park, we got to see several monkeys up close on the large open-air deck. We put candies in our hands, and they scurried right up, picked them up with their little fingers, and popped them in their mouths. It was so much fun, and we were able to get some great pictures.

On the way back into Rustenburg, we picked up Nando's for dinner. This was the second time since I've been here that I've had the Nando's pineapple chicken sandwich (called a pine burger), and it was just as good this time! I hope to have at least one more before I come home.

Thabo's Adoption

2008-07-14T14:15:00.009-05:00

Today I had the very special privilege of taking part in an adoption. Thabo, who is 13 months old, was adopted by a couple from Denmark, and his placement with his new family was today. Janis had asked me last week if I would be willing to go and actually be the person to hand him over. I was really excited and even skimmed through all of Thabo's records over the weekend so that I would prepared to answer any questions his new parents might have for me.

I went to get Thabo from the toddler room this morning, and all the caregivers said their last goodbyes and gave him lots of kisses. Janis, Lorinda, and I gathered all the caregivers and the other toddlers around so we could all pray together before we left. We prayed for safe travels to Pretoria and for Thabo and his new family. It was a really neat moment.

As we left the toddler room, the kids stood at the door and waved goodbye to Thabo. We buckled him into a car seat in the back of the Lighthouse van, and Lorinda and I left for Abba Adoptions in Pretoria. I sat in the back seat at first and gave Thabo a bottle of formula, and then he slept for the rest of the way while I helped Lorinda with directions.

We arrived at 10am and took Thabo inside the adoption agency to meet with Eva, the social worker doing the placement. We sat with Eva in her office for a few minutes, and she explained how the placement was going to work and explained what kinds of questions she would be asking me in front of the parents.

She also asked me about how I thought Thabo would do with being handed over to new people. I told her that I really thought he would do fine with new people as long as someone was holding him and playing with him. The only time I've ever seen him get really upset is when someone is holding him and puts him down. As long as he is being held, he is a happy camper.

I quickly changed Thabo's diaper in the bathroom, and then we drove down the street to the guest house where his new parents were staying. As I stepped out of the car holding Thabo, I noticed a young white couple holding an African baby. Eva told us they had just received their baby a few days before. They smiled really big at me, knowing why I was there.

We walked up to the room where the door was already wide open. Thabo's new dad was standing in the doorway, and I will never forget the look on his face as he saw his son's face for the first time. It was such a beautiful moment. We walked inside and introduced ourselves, and I sat down on the couch with Thabo on my lap facing his new parents.

Lorinda was in charge of their camera and took lots of pictures throughout the placement, and Eva had their video camera running the whole time we were there. She asked me questions about his schedule, what he eats, what he likes to do, his personality, etc... After a few minutes, I placed Thabo on the floor right next to my feet. His mom and dad were sitting on the floor and started to play with him.

At first he was a little shy, but within minutes he was sitting on his dad's lap playing with a teddy bear they had bought him and laughing as his dad tickled him. Eva continued to ask me questions, and the parents had a few questions for me as well. I also gave them a bag containing his clothes, a bottle and some baby food, and a scrapbook Janis made of his time at Lighthouse.

By the end of the placement, which lasted about an hour, Thabo was smiling and baby talking and having a great time playing with his new mom and dad. A couple times he walked over to me and motioned to be picked up, but I would just turn him around and tell him to go play with mommy and daddy. He would walk back and get interested in playing with them again.

Eva told me to say my goodbyes to Thabo, so I gave him a kiss and a hug and told him to be good for his new parents. His mom held him, and they all waved as we left. It was sad to say goodbye, but I was so overwhelmed with happiness for Thabo that he has a family now and will receive so much love and affection from them. I have never seen him as happy as he was today sitting with his new family and playing and laughing.

Today was a really special day, and I am so honored to have been a part of such an important day in Thabo's life and in their family's life. Please be praying for this new family as they begin the bonding process and adapt to one another.

Carnivore

2008-07-13T11:10:00.007-05:00

This morning the Betzers, Sarah, Charity, and I left Lighthouse at 8am to drive to Pretoria for church. We attended Cornerstone Assembly, and Sarah and Charity were able to perform their sign language skills again. The church was predominantly black, so the worship and preaching were quite different from what I am accustomed to. I enjoyed the service, but was a little distracted by how freezing cold it was in the auditorium. I couldn't feel my toes by the time the service was over!

After church we drove into Johannesburg, which is about 30 minutes south of Pretoria, to eat lunch at a restaurant called Carnivore. It was such a neat experience. First, they serve bread, soup, and salads. Then they begin to bring around different types of meat for you to sample. They started us off with pork ribs and chicken wings, but shortly after that we sampled zebra, ostrich, hartebeest, kudu, impala, and crocodile meat!

My favorites were the zebra and the crocodile. Both were very tender and had good flavor. We kept joking that it all tasted like chicken, and the crocodile meat really did taste very much like chicken. The ostrich meat was really tough and took a ridiculous amount of time to chew, so I didn't enjoy that very much.

Since each person's meal comes with dessert, I had a bowl of vanilla ice cream. I love ice cream, but I haven't had much here since it's so cold in the evenings. It tasted so good!

Wall-E

2008-07-12T13:03:00.004-05:00

This afternoon the Betzer family, Sarah, Charity, and I took several of the Lighthouse kids to see the movie Wall-E, which just recently came to theaters in South Africa. It was a really cute movie, and I think the kids really enjoyed it.

Movies are much less expensive here (less than 4 U.S. dollars), so each of the kids also got a child-size box of popcorn and a small orange Fanta, their favorite "cool drink." During the first half of the movie, Lewis, age 6, patted my arm about every 5 minutes to ask if I would hand him his drink. Unfortunately, the cup holders were down low where the kids couldn't really reach them. Tshepiso, age 4, was sitting on my other side and would hand me her box of popcorn about every 5 minutes indicating that she also needed a drink of her orange Fanta. I felt like such a mom!

About halfway through the movie after everyone had finished their popcorn and drinks, Tshepiso crawled on my lap and fell asleep. It was like having my own little space heater in the cold movie theater. When the movie was over, I carried her back out to the entrance where she finally woke up.

Janis and David took the kids back to the Shelter, and left Sarah, Charity, and me out at the mall to walk around and shop for a while. Basically we just ate ice cream, walked around, and then bought some groceries at Pick 'n Pay. I was so glad that they are not big shoppers because I definitely am not!

Trusting God

2008-07-11T14:37:00.006-05:00

This past spring semester was a challenging time for me spiritually. I definitely grew a lot and learned a lot, but it still wasn't easy. I began to feel uncertain about my summer plans way back in November and started to pray daily that God would just lead me to wherever He wanted me to go. I had no idea then just how much bigger his plans were than what I had planned.

My original plan for this summer was to work as a nurse intern at Mayo Clinic in their neonatal intensive care unit. I wanted that position so badly and spent weeks perfecting my application. Weeks later, even though deep down I think I knew it was coming, I was still devastated to read that rejection letter. I knew in my heart that God had something else in mind for me, something much bigger and much further outside my comfort zone.

It just so happened that the same day I received my letter from Mayo Clinic, the campus ministry I am involved in had a prayer meeting. I know that was not a coincidence. I will never forget holding back tears that night and telling some of my closest friends that God was asking me to trust Him with something really big, but that I didn't know yet what that big thing was. It would be several weeks before God would reveal His plan for me to spend my summer serving Him in South Africa.

Although I know they meant well, it frustrated me that several of the friends I talked to during this time told me to stop stressing out about the future because His plan would end up being better than anything I could have ever imagined. Now the stop stressing part is definitely true. I should have done less stressing and more trusting. But I want to address the second part of this piece of advice because although it might sound nice, I don't think it's entirely true.

Is it true that God's plan is always, always, always better than our plan? Yes! Is it going to be a plan that we like or would ever choose for ourselves? Maybe not. Every time friends would say that to me, I would in my mind think of several options for my summer that I really, really hoped were not part of God's will. Sometimes God asks us to do things that we don't want to do. Sometimes He asks us to remain in a job we don't particularly like or to be friends with a person who is not the easiest to be friends with. Sometimes He allows the people we love to die or allows us to get sick. I believe with all my heart that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him" (R0mans 8:28), but that does not mean that life is going to be easy all the time.

I have no doubt that God's plan for me this summer was to come serve in South Africa. He has made that clear to me in so many awesome ways. And I am so thankful that after a semester of praying and trusting and growing in new ways in my faith, God's plan was something that I absolutely love. In fact, I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be this summer than loving on the babies here at Lighthouse.

Back to Freedom Park

2008-07-10T11:57:00.004-05:00

Since Noel is back from his family's vacation, we were able to do outreach at Freedom Park again yesterday. I had hoped to blog about our afternoon last night after dinner so that I wouldn't forget anything, but the internet was down. It happens sometimes...kind of like our random power outages. You just never know when it's going to go down.

Usually we all pile into Noel's bakkie (truck) to drive out to Freedom Park, but since we had several more people than usual (including my flatmates Sarah and Charity), we piled into 2 vehicles instead.

We arrived at the AIDS clinic near the entrance from the main road, and Noel set out to find a couple of caregivers who could come with us and translate. Since the kids are still on winter holiday, a whole bunch of kids were playing in the area around the clinic. We waved at them and gave them high fives, and before long we were holding them and giving them piggyback rides and having a really fun time.

Sarah with the kids

Even though none of them spoke English, I was able to use hand motions to explain that my name was Sam. The little girl I spent the most time with was Gatisa. She held up her fingers to show me that she was 6 years old. Gatisa had a big scratch on her right cheek and eyebrow and explained with motions that she had fallen down and hurt her face.

Charity and a new friend

Noel finally found a few caregivers who could spare a couple hours, and we drove across the main road to the government houses recently built in Freedom Park. Families can purchase them for the equivalent of 30 U.S. dollars, but sadly most of the people in Freedom Park can't even afford that small price. The government houses are really tiny - not much bigger than a dorm room or your bedroom - but they are at least made of bricks instead of pieces of tin.

government housing

We visited several families in the government housing, gave them food parcels and blankets, and prayed with the people who are sick with AIDS. More than 70% of the people living in Freedom Park are HIV positive, so there are thousands of people there who are very sick and dying of AIDS.

One woman we met was lying in bed under a heavy blanket even though it was warm outside and even warmer inside her house. She was telling us that the AIDS treatment has been giving her diarrhea and that she can hardly get out of bed because she is so weak. Her husband died (probably of AIDS) last year, and she has 4 children from age 6 to 16. They have no source of income because she is unable to work, so the 16 year old son quit school in order to get a job. Sadly, these types of difficult circumstances are very common in South Africa.

We drove back over to the main part of Freedom Park and visited a few of the government houses built near the shacks. One of the families we visited there consisted of a 14 year old handicapped girl, her young aunt, and the grandmother who suffered from a bad stroke 2 years ago. The mother of the girl died 3 months ago and was finally buried just the day before we visited. The aunt cannot work because she is caring for the girl and the grandmother all day. The girl could be placed in a home for handicapped children, but she cannot because she has no birth certificate or any form of ID. It's a really terrible situation for all of them, and we just prayed that God would intervene.

Please keep praying for the people of Freedom Park. So many of the people are suffering from extreme poverty and disease, and they don't have a lot of hope for the future. Please pray that God would continue to work in these difficult situations and that he would fill their hearts with hope.

Lion Park

2008-07-08T14:55:00.006-05:00

This morning at 9am, we left Lighthouse to go to the Lion Park. Our group included Janis, Lorinda, me, Sarah, Charity, and 7 of the older kids. When we first arrived, our guide took us into a fenced-in area where there were several lion cubs. You could pet them and hold them, but sometimes they would start to get a little too playful! Here is a picture of our group with one of the lion cubs.

And here's one of me with a lion cub!

After spending some time with the littlest lions, we followed our guide to several other fenced-in areas where we saw 3-5 month old lions, 5-8 month old lions, 1-2 year old lions, and then, of course, the huge adult lions. Our guide was very knowledgeable and told us some really interesting facts about lions. For example, did you know that adult lions only eat once a week? They spend the majority of their time sleeping and usually only spend 30 minutes to an hour eating each week.

After our visit to the Lion Park, we drove to McDonald's for lunch, and the kids were able to play on the outdoor playground. I spent most of the time there sitting very still trying not to get stung by a bee. Poor Phemelo, who is 4 years old, got stung on the tongue after a bee crawled into his straw. He spent a little while sitting on my lap while I pointed out trucks and motorcycles to him, and then he seemed to feel better.

Slumber Party

2008-07-08T13:34:00.007-05:00

Last night Sarah, Charity, and I hosted a slumber party in our flat for the 4 oldest girls at Lighthouse: Hope, Annah, Dineo, and Mary. We all got into our pajamas, and I went and got the girls at 6pm to come to our flat to eat pizza (homemade by Janis!). Unfortunately, the power went out just about the time the girls arrived, and we ended up eating pizza by candlelight. I think our dinner was almost more fun that way though...sitting around our candlelit table eating pizza and laughing together.

The power came back on as we were finishing dinner, so we were able to start the DVD selection of the night: High School Musical 2. While we watched the movie, we ate rice krispie treats topped with chocolate (also homemade by Janis) and painted all the girls fingernails and toe nails. Janis had even brought over a foot bath for the girls to soak their feet in.

Sarah and Charity brought all kinds of goodies for the girls, so they also received glow sticks, plastic rings, and friendship bracelets throughout the evening. Charity made me a friendship bracelet that is green and yellow, South African colors. It will be a nice keepsake from this trip and also a reminder of our slumber party with the girls.

After the movie was finished and the girls had danced to several of the songs a second time, Sarah and Charity brought out their laptop with music on it and taught the girls a few new dances including Cotton Eye Joe and the Cha Cha Slide. Even though they didn't completely catch on, they had a fun time dancing with the "big girls." Mary, who is 4 years old, had crashed on my lap by this time, so we were just spectators.

At 9:30 we fixed the girls up with blankets and pillows so they could start winding down and going to sleep. I snuggled with Mary on the floor in the living room for about an hour. By then, she and Dineo were sleeping and Hope and Annah had settled down and were giggling much less than they had before.

I was in bed by 11pm, but didn't sleep very well because I knew I was going to have to wake up at 6am to give the girls their AIDS medications at 6:15. Antiretrovirals, the medications that slow the progression of AIDS must be given exactly every 12 hours to work properly. Since the kids have to leave for school at 6:45am, they have to be given their medications very early.

Thankfully I did wake up when my alarm went off at 6. I set out all their pills and then woke them up to come take them. Then we gathered up all their goodies - their rings and glowsticks and bracelets - and I walked them back to their house so they could get ready for our outing to the lion park.

We are all feeling a little more tired than usual today, but we had a great time spending the evening together!

Back to Kgaswane

2008-07-06T13:35:00.007-05:00

Today was not a typical Sunday for me. Usually we take the older kids with us to church, come back and eat some lunch, and then just relax and play for the rest of the day. Sometimes I read a book or work on uploading recent pictures, and I almost always end up outside playing with the kids for several hours.

But today was a much busier Sunday than usual. After church, Sarah, Charity, and I had a delicious homemade lunch at the Betzers' flat. Then I headed over to the baby room for some quality time with my little "Hannah" (not her real name). I ended up taking her for a walk, giving her a bottle, and rocking her for a while.

At 2pm, we drove out to the Kgaswane Mountain Reserve in Rustenburg to see if we could spot any animals. It was Janis and David (the experts on animal-spotting), their daughter Hope, Sarah, Charity, and me. The animals we did see were much further from the road than they were the day I went hiking there with Angela and Taya. Fortunately, we were equipped with binoculars and were able to see sable, zebras, and hartebees in the distance. We also had to stop the car when several impala (or antelope) ran across the road. I still can't believe how beautiful the animals are here!

termite hills

Shortly arrived back at the entrance, we decided to get out and take a walk through the brush down to a creek. It was an interesting walk since only David and Hope were wearing appropriate hiking shoes, but we all made it okay. All of us girls climbed out onto a huge rock in the middle of the creek to have our picture taken.

After leaving the reserve, we stopped at the mall to get some ice cream. While we were there, we ran into Derek and Rebecca (the directors of YWAM Rustenburg) and their 3 kids. They had just gone to see Wall-E at the movie theater and stopped to chat for a few minutes.

Back at Lighthouse, I made some vegetable samosas (pronounced sah-moose-ah) for dinner. I had tried some a few weeks ago when I was out with Lorinda and decided to buy some from the store the last time I was there. They were pretty good considering how challenged I am at using the stove. :)

Tonight David fixed us up with a DVD player in our flat so that we could watch the movie The Power of One. The movie is about the beginning of apartheid in South Africa and about one young man's brave attempts to defeat injustice. It was really powerful and also really sad. If you want to better understand the dark times South Africa has experienced in the not-so-distant past, I definitely encourage you to rent this movie.

Jackson's Ridge

2008-07-05T11:44:00.005-05:00

This morning Janis drove Sarah, Charity, and me out to Jackson's Ridge, a children's ministry training center about 45 minutes outside of Rustenburg. She wanted us to be able to see the grounds and learn about the ministry they do there. Jackson's Ridge is out "in the bush," which means that it's pretty much in the middle of nowhere, so we had to take some very bumpy dirt roads for the last several miles.

As we approached the entrance, a whole bunch of monkeys scurried across the road ahead of us and jumped into the trees on our right. Even Janis, who has been in South Africa for 14 years, said she had never seen that many monkeys at one time before. They were everywhere! And each time we thought they were done running across the road, we'd see a few more up ahead.

When we finally arrived on the Jackson's Ridge property, we met up with Amanda, who just happens to be from the same hometown as me. She knew Janis and David prior to coming to South Africa last year because they attended the same church back in Illinois (the same church Janis' parents still attend). I also got to meet Amanda's mom Chris (the same night I met Janis' parents) before I left for this trip, and she sent a few goodies with me to give to Amanda. What a small world!

the bunkhouse

Amanda took us on the full tour of the Jackson's Ridge property. They hold children's camps there on the weekends, so there is a bunkhouse, the main building where they do dramas and puppet shows, an outdoor challenge course, a dam where the kids can swim, and even an area for archery. There are also several horses that the kids can ride including two ponies named Caesar and Jackson.

part of the challenge course

Jackson's Ridge also provides training and resources for leaders of children's ministries, so we got to see several meeting areas, the large resource room, and a puppet-making studio. Amanda was telling us that they also sometimes travel around the country to hold training sessions on different skills including puppetry, balloon animals, clowning, and, of course, how to share Jesus' love with children of all ages.

the dam where the kids swim

My favorite part of Jackson's Ridge was their Baby Shelter, which is able to take up to 9 babies or toddlers at one time. Their purpose is similar to that of Lighthouse in that they provide a safe place for babies who have been abandoned, abused, or neglected. But they only take babies who have already been cleared for adoption, so that they don't have to go through the long process of having a baby declared legally abandoned. Because of this, they are able to place their babies with adoptive families very quickly.

Today we got to meet the only baby currently staying in the Baby Shelter. His name is Onthatile, and he is one month old. We each got to hold him and love on him for a few minutes...definitely the best part of my day. :)

After our tour of Jackson's Ridge, Amanda and Charlene, who is in charge of the Baby Shelter, took us to Western Cane near Magaliesburg for lunch. I had a toasted chicken mayo sandwich, which was delicious, and appletizer, which is similar to sparkling apple juice except not as sweet.

We also checked out the gift shop at Western Cane, and I purchased something for my mom. I can't wait to give it to her! Sarah and Charity bought a bunch of candy and sweets, and we all got high on sugar on the 45-minute drive back to Rustenburg.

Pajamas

2008-07-04T14:48:00.005-05:00

I currently have a flat sheet, 3 blankets, and a comforter on my bed. Just in case that wasn't warm enough, the following is what I've been wearing for pajamas (and, yes, I do mean all at the same time):

- tank top

- long sleeve shirt

- small T-shirt

- extra large T-shirt

- my Third Day hoodie

- my very warm YWAM hoodie (with the hood up!)

- sweat pants

- flannel pajama pants (yes, over the sweat pants...desperate times call for desperate measures)

- 2-3 pairs of socks

I'm going to have to ask one of my new flatmates to take a picture of me in my many layers. I'm sure it's quite a sight to behold and probably good for a laugh. I feel kind of like an eskimo, which is especially ironic since I'm in Africa.

Just the other day I was talking with Janis, and she was concerned about having 2 space heaters going at night once Sarah and Charity arrived and about how she hoped they didn't trip the breaker. To which I responded, "I can keep my space heater going all night? And not burn down the flat?"

So to my excitement, I discovered that I don't have to turn off my beloved space heater when I turn out the lights. Not that it really makes a huge difference in the room temperature, but it certainly helps!

Also, Happy 4th of July! As you might have guessed, today is just an ordinary day in South Africa. So eat a hot dog and enjoy some fireworks for me! :)

More Pictures

2008-07-03T12:25:00.012-05:00

I carried my camera with me all day today and got a whole bunch of pictures of the babies, toddlers, and even the kids from the Main House. The day was great until one of the toddlers broke the screen on my camera. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that since we are going to be doing some tourist outings in the next couple of weeks. But, anyhow, here are some of my favorites from today. Enjoy!

Rebaona

Gontse

Hope, Dineo, Lewis, Annah, and Mary

Karabo

Mpho

William

Kelebogile sporting her winter hat and scarf

Xolani and Sheila in the sandbox

New Flatmates

2008-07-02T14:57:00.002-05:00

Tonight I met my two new flatmates, Sarah and Charity, who are recent high school grads from Indiana. They are going to be here at Lighthouse for the next two weeks and will be staying in my flat with me. The other bedroom in my flat has bunk beds, so they will be sleeping in that room.

During the two weeks they are here, Janis has several outings planned, including a trip to the lion park, shopping at an African market, and a trip to one of the game reserves. This way we three girls get to do some "tourist-y" things while we're here, and Janis doesn't have to make two trips to each of these places.

I'm really looking forward to spending time with Sarah and Charity and introducing them to all the kids!

Caregiver Meeting

2008-07-02T14:37:00.004-05:00

On the first Wednesday of each month, there is a meeting for all the Lighthouse caregivers. I was able to attend the meeting in June, but was still quite jetlagged at that point. This month, not only did I attend, but I also got to get up and do some teaching. Janis had asked me to be observing the caregivers while I'm helping out with the babies and toddlers so that any possible improvements could be made.

Overall, I have been very impressed with the caregivers. Even though they have very little training, they do a fantastic job taking care of the kids. Unfortunately though, they are so busy feeding and changing and bathing that they are not left with much extra time to simply play with and love on the kids.

This may surprise some of you, but I really hate having to stand up and talk in front of a group of people. Somehow I ended up being the one who did announcements each week at our campus ministry, and each week I would be so anxious about standing up there. It never did get less scary. Once I start talking, I feel so much better, but the anticipation is awful.

So after about a week of feeling anxious about this and trying to tell God that He needs to find some other way for me to serve that doesn't involve public speaking (and Him reminding me over and over that Moses said the same thing and look how God used Him), I finally did it. Of course, the meeting started around 3:45 instead of 3 since the caregivers operate on African time, but finally I did it.

First, I encouraged them not to give water to babies who are less than 6 months old. It is common in the South African culture to give water and tea to babies, but because their kidneys are still immature and cannot yet concentrate or dilute the urine to best benefit the body, giving them water causes them to lose some of the proteins and electrolytes that they need.

Then I talked them through the form that is used to assess a new baby who arrives at the shelter. I taught them how to take a baby's pulse, count its respirations, and measure its head circumference, as well as how to check for lice and how to identify several common rashes and infections. We also discussed a few indicators of dehydration and malnourishment since these are unfortunately common in abandoned babies.

Next month at the August meeting, I'm going to be teaching the proper procedure for giving a newborn bath and for changing a diaper (and probably a few other things too).

Sun City Outing

2008-07-01T13:37:00.017-05:00

Recently Lighthouse was given a bunch of free tickets to go to Sun City for their Children's Day. Sun City is a resort about 40 minutes away with a wave pool, movie theater, tons of arcade games, sports facilities, hotels, wild animals, etc... So today Lorinda, Sophie, Nomhle, and I took the 11 oldest kids (ages 4 and up) to Sun City.

Lorinda and I drove the boys in one van, which was an adventure in itself, and Sophie and Nomhle had all the girls in the other shelter van. At 9:30 we arrived at Topologo where we met up with about 50 kids from the Topologo school. Once there we were going to take buses the rest of the way to Sun City, but since we're on African time, the buses didn't arrive until about 10:30. We decided to just drive the kids in the shelter vans since we had so many 4-year-olds and only 4 of us to keep tabs on all the kids.

We arrived in Sun City and were welcomed by two clowns. Most of the kids were excited, but Sophie and I had to hold Lewis' hands because he was petrified. We walked through the park past the wave pool to a big outdoor amphitheater where there was a singing and dancing show going on. They handed out an ice cream bar to each of the kids as we walked in, which made them all much happier after all the waiting and driving. I would guess there were about 200 kids in the amphitheater, so it was a little stressful keeping track of all our Lighthouse kids.

After the show, we walked back to the wave pool area where several of the kids got their faces painted and the others jumped on a "Jumping Castle." I know the kids had a great time, but I felt like an overwhelmed parent...you know, the anxious feeling of being responsible for four 4-year olds who speak limited English and have selective hearing. It was worth it though to see the kids having so much fun.

At 1pm, all the kids met back in the amphitheater for a free lunch of hot dogs and "cool drinks" (sodas). South African hot dogs are a much softer consistency than those in the U.S., but I was starving by then, so I didn't really care. The singers did some more songs while we ate and made some inappropriate jokes that I really hope went over the kids' heads.

After lunch each of the kids received a goodie bag with a T-shirt, a frisbee, and lots of candy (which I'm pretty sure ended up all over the inside of the vans on the way back). At 2pm, our group made our way back to the parking lot to get in the vans. This was probably my favorite part of the day because we saw 3 monkeys running around the parking lot. The monkeys were sitting on top of cars and chasing each other around. It was so fun!

Tonight, after falling asleep on my couch for a little while, I joined the Betzer family for dinner with Delight and Wayne Peercy, who are also missionaries in South Africa. They've had two American college students, Sarah and Jessica, serving with them in Limpopo for the past month, so I really enjoyed talking to the two of them and hearing about their experiences here. They both head back to Indiana tomorrow and have mixed feelings about leaving. I'm really glad that I'm going to be here for another 6 weeks! I am loving my time here and am definitely not ready to leave yet.

Making the Rounds

2008-06-30T12:39:00.009-05:00

Today was such a great day! I got to experience so many new things and really learned a lot. I spent the whole morning and part of the afternoon making rounds with Dr. Neil, who treats the children at Lighthouse. Janis dropped me off at one of the private hospitals in Rustenburg where Dr. Neil was going to be performing several surgeries this morning.

The first was a Caesarian section, which was especially interesting since I've seen so many back home and had something to compare it to. The surgical procedure was very similar to what we do in the United States except for a few minor differences. For example, here in South Africa they place a small surgical drain in the incision site to prevent the accumulation of blood and fluids. I've never seen a drain used in the States for a C-section incision.

The biggest difference was the nursing care of the baby after he was born. Let's just say that it was not what I would have done and that it was quite a struggle to contain myself.

After the C-section was finished, Dr. Neil and I sat in the doctor's lounge for a few minutes drinking tea and coffee. Have I mentioned how much tea they drink here? Next it was time for a tonsillectomy/adenoidectomy, which we've learned about in nursing school, but I had never actually seen before. After that was the removal of a ganglion cyst from a young man's wrist. Both surgeries were very interesting to watch.

The finally surgery of the morning was the circumcision of a 17-year-old boy. I was relieved to discover that he was going to be put completely under for the procedure and would not remember any of it. It was interesting to see how they did the circumcision since I've seen so many performed on newborns, and obviously it would be done quite differently on a teenager or an adult. Dr. Neil explained to me that many of the black South Africans are circumcised around this age to symbolize their "entry into manhood." Ouch.

After we changed out of our scrubs, we hit the road to go visit two of the rural AIDS clinics in villages outside of Rustenburg. On the way, we stopped to get litchi flavored water, which was very good, and I asked him about a million questions. Dr. Neil explained that there are 15 different rural AIDS clinics in this area and that he visits 12 of them every 2 weeks to see patients who are not responding to treatment or having unusual symptoms that puzzle the regular caregivers.

At the first clinic, we saw patients for about 30 minutes. I was able to see their lab values, many of which were like nothing I've ever seen in the U.S., and also to watch Dr. Neil examine them. Many complained of pains, weakness, or the inability to continue working.

patients gathered around one of the village AIDS clinics

After we had seen all the patients there, we drove to the next AIDS clinics about 20 minutes down the road. Here we saw many more patients and stayed a little longer than we did at the first clinic. Dr. Neil had to draw blood from a little boy who was about 18 months old and from a 4-year-old girl because the caregivers couldn't hit veins so small. I was the hand holder and comforter for these procedures. Sadly both of these young children are HIV positive and will need blood draws like these every few months for the rest of their lives.

outside one of the AIDS clinics

Before we left this second AIDS clinic, the caregivers asked us to take a look at a man who had been dropped off there by his family this morning. They wanted to know if he should be sent down the road to the AIDS Hospice. This man was a sobering sight. He was barely conscious, eyes sunken, skin and bones, lying on a cot in a back room. He had a horrendous cough that I'm sure was probably TB, and we noticed white patches in his mouth indicative of a fungal infection. Dr. Neil told the caregivers to get this man to the hospice as quickly as possible, but told me later he thought it was probably too late.

patients' beds in the AIDS hospice

Our last stop of the day was the AIDS hospice in Phokeng. We saw about 10 different patients, all of whom were very sick with infections due to their weakened immune systems. I expected that since it was a hospice that most of the patients would die there, but Dr. Neil explained to me that it's more of an inpatient unit for critically ill AIDS patients and that less than 50% of the patients admitted actually die during their stay. Of all the places we visited today, the hospice was the one I'd most like to visit again.

Dr. Neil dropped me off at Lighthouse around 2pm, and I headed over to Janis and David's flat where they were celebrating the 4th of July with American friends from the YWAM (Youth With a Mission) base in Rustenburg. The YWAM staff is going to be at the airport in Johannesburg on the 4th picking up students who are coming for their July through November Discipleship Training School (DTS). So we had to celebrate a little early with a braaii (the South African word for a cookout or barbecue). It was a fun afternoon!

HIV/AIDS Workshop

2008-06-29T07:55:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I spent nearly the entire day in the village of Klabani attending an HIV/AIDS workshop led by Janice Cole, a retired nurse from the U.S. who is now a missionary in South Africa. The purpose of this workshop was to educate women from area churches about HIV and how to care for those who are battling AIDS. It made for a long day, especially since I already knew most of the information taught from my nursing education, but I'm glad that I went. It was interesting to see how Janice was able to take what she knows and convey it to these women who have no medical background.

the church in Klabani

We arrived at the church in Klabani at 8:30am, and the 50 women attending the conference were singing African hymns and praying aloud. Their singing was so beautiful! I was disappointed when they finally stopped singing at 9.

From 9am until noon, Janice talked to us about the basics of HIV: what it is exactly, how it can be spread, common symptoms, etc.. She also talked a lot about prejudices against those who contract HIV and the importance of showing Jesus' love to those who are infected regardless of how they contracted it.

Janice Cole speaking to the group

At noon, we got a 5-minute break to stretch our legs, and then we talked for another hour or so about how to counsel someone who is infected. Janice stressed the importance of respect, being genuine, and being a good listener.

Finally at 1pm, we got a lunch break. I was excited to discover that the lunch being served was real South African food, the kind that most of the people who live in the villages eat. I had a slice of bread, mealie pop (top), mince meat (left), and maltabella (right).

my lunch

In the afternoon, Janice taught the women about providing home care (even if you have no nursing skills). She discussed how to care for a person with a fever, a sore mouth, or a cough and reviewed the basics of proper nutrition. When Janice finished shortly after 4, the women did some more singing and a few different people who were involved in hosting the workshop said a few words. Then Janice drove me back to the shelter for the evening.

the group attending the workshop

The workshop was a great experience, but I definitely don't think I could ever do HIV/AIDS education like Janice does. I'm not sure I would have the patience, or if I did, that I would really enjoy what I was doing. I suppose it's good to figure these things out now, so that I don't end up spending my time doing something I don't have a passion for.

P.S. I met two missionary women from the United States at the workshop yesterday, and each one separately tried to set me up with her son (both of whom are about my age and "looking for a godly wife"). I thought it was pretty funny. :)

New Pictures

2008-06-27T13:32:00.008-05:00

Since many of you who are reading this blog do not have Facebook and are unable to see the pictures I've been posting on there, I thought I'd put a few pictures on here that I took this past week. Enjoy!

Rebaona

Karabo

Mbali

Nkosi

Gracie

Koketso

Joshua

Eating Habits

2008-06-27T13:17:00.005-05:00

The first day I met Hope, Janis and David's 7-year-old daughter, I learned that she likes to eat lemons. But not only does she eat lemon slices just like you would an orange slice; she eats the whole thing, rind and all! Since that first day, I've seen she and Annah and Dineo eating whole lemons, and I've watched Dineo eat a whole orange including the rind.

I was reminded of that today when the 3 girls from the Main House and I were doing some tree climbing, and Annah and Dineo started picking off the tree bark and eating it. I'm sure part of the reason they did it was just to see my reaction, but they actually chewed and swallowed large pieces of bark. These girls make me laugh!

Another unusual eating habit in South Africa (not that eating tree bark is the norm) is the eating of biltong as a snack. Biltong is a dried meat kind of like beef jerky in America except that it can be made of a wide variety of different meats including chicken, kudu, fish, and even sometimes ostrich. I have not experienced biltong yet, and I don't know that I will because it really does not look very appealing.

Tonight one of the guys in the church youth group asked me if I had ever had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, and I replied that of course I have. Apparently, they don't sell them anywhere in South Africa, but he had heard how amazing they are. I promised him that if I ever come back to South Africa, I will be sure to bring him some Reese's.

Romania Recap

2008-06-26T08:24:00.002-05:00

As many of you already know, I went on a 10-day mission trip to Romania in May just one week before flying to South Africa for the summer. It was an incredible trip and such a privilege to witness all the ways God worked through our team in the Gypsy village.

Now that I've had some time to look back and reflect on the trip, I really feel that my purpose in going was to serve my teammates just as much as it was to serve the Gypsy people. I had so many awesome conversations with people I had never met before this trip. I shared my testimony (the story of how I came to know and love Jesus) with several new friends and also had the opportunity to share the story of God's faithfulness in guiding me to South Africa with lots and lots of people. I know that after those 10 days, several new friends and I will never be the same. What an awesome God we serve!

One of the guys who went on the trip compiled video footage and pictures to create a "recap video" of our trip. It's really emotional for me to watch. It takes me right back to that village where God was so evident and reminds me of so many incredible stories.

Cleaning House

2008-06-25T10:36:00.003-05:00

Apparently there are a few people who were under the impression that I was going to be "roughing it" in Africa. Well, that's not true in the first place, but I'm about to completely squash that rumor once and for all.

Nomhle (the Managing Director) had told me that Agnes, the cleaning lady at Lighthouse, would be coming into my flat today to clean. She asked me what I wanted her to do (since she doesn't speak a lot of English and Nomhle can speak to her in Tswana), and I wasn't really sure since I've been keeping my flat pretty clean. So I just told her whatever she would normally do was fine...she didn't need to do anything special.

I was thinking that she would probably vacuum and dust, maybe clean the bathroom, and that was great with me. But I cannot believe how much cleaning she ended up doing! She cleaned absolutely everything! She cleaned the whole bathroom, scrubbed the shower and the toilet, mopped the floors, vacuumed the carpet, washed the windows, took out the trash, and even cleaned the dishes in my sink. But there's more...she even washed and folded my dirty laundry for me! I couldn't believe it.

Now I officially feel spoiled. It was so nice of her, but I feel guilty that she did all that for me. Next time she comes I'm going to be much more specific: "Just vacuuming and dusting please!"

Kgaswane Mountain Reserve

2008-06-25T09:20:00.004-05:00

Since Noel, the youth pastor, is on vacation with his family this week, we didn't go out to Kanana or Freedom Park on outreach. Instead early this morning I went on a hike with my new friend Angela and her 12-year-old daughter Taya. They just moved here from Ukraine last year, and I met Angela because she volunteers out at Lighthouse each week. She's been telling me about how she goes hiking with a group of people every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and has been inviting me to come. Today seemed like a great opportunity.

Angela and Taya picked me up at 7am while the sun was just starting to come up, and we drove about 20 minutes to the Kgaswane Mountain Reserve where there are roads and paths all throughout the park. On the way to our meeting point, we saw zebras by the side of the road. Pretty exciting for a girl from Illinois! I'm just sorry now that I didn't get a picture. I wasn't quick enough with my camera.

We met with the group at some little houses where the park staff live. When Angela introduced me as "Sam from the United States," they all wanted to hear about how I ended up here in South Africa for the summer. Later in the morning, they also had some interesting questions for me about American politics, particularly my thoughts on Barack Obama.

The hike took us about an hour and a half, and I spent most of the time chatting with Angela's daughter Taya, a 6th grader. She was excited to find out that I am a Christian and had lots of really interesting questions for me. She goes to a Christian school and really wants to have a relationship with Jesus, but no one has ever really explained how to do it. She was telling me some of the crazy things her Christian friends have been telling her about how many times you have to read your Bible to be saved, etc. I know that Taya was the reason I went on this hike. I invited her to come to the Friday night youth service at the Assemblies of God church and promised her I'd be there to sit with her. She told me as we were leaving the park that she's never had a 21-year-old friend before. :)

When everyone arrived back to the starting point, we had some tea and biscuits (very South African!) and rested a little before driving back. The tea was very good, but I needed about 10 times more than that before I was going to feel properly hydrated again. This was the time when I got asked questions about Barack Obama and the inevitable downfall of America by two of the ladies in particular. I was a little uncertain how to answer their questions at first, but felt like I handled them well. It was actually kind of funny now that I think about it.

On our drive out of the park, we saw a sable and several kudu just off the main road. It was so exciting! These animals are so beautiful. I had never seen anything like them before. Taya and I decided to get out of the car to take some pictures.

Visitor from Mpumalanga

2008-06-24T12:45:00.006-05:00

This week Janice Cole, a nurse from the United States who is doing missions work in the Mpumalanga province of South Africa, is here in Rustenburg to teach an AIDS workshop for caregivers who have little or no medical background. I will be attending the workshop all day Saturday. Janice first came to South Africa back in 2002-2003 to volunteer at Lighthouse for 2 years, so she still comes here often to visit the kids and the staff.

It has been really interesting to talk with her and hear about the work she is doing in the villages in Mpumalanga. I learned this week that the percentage of the population that is HIV positive in this province is higher than any other province in South Africa. And just like in the North West province (where Lighthouse is located), there is a large number of children being abandoned or losing their parents to AIDS.

Today Janice and I took the 3 girls from the Main House to McDonald's for a special treat. Annah, age 8, Dineo, age 7, and Mary, age 4, all got Happy Meals with Orange Fanta, their very favorite "cool drink" (soft drink). Then they got to spend a little time on the outdoor playground while Janice and I talked and tried to avoid all the bees. It was a fun afternoon!

When we arrived back at Lighthouse, a team from a church in Georgia was there playing with the kids. They are coming back again tomorrow to help with the toddlers and the babies. It's always nice to have extra people to love on the kids!

Lighthouse Blog

2008-06-23T15:50:00.003-05:00

Just this week, Janis updated the Lighthouse blog with stories and pictures from the month of June. There might be some things of interest to you. :)

Click here to see the June updates.

Note: I just wanted to clear up any confusion about my job at the hospital since it wasn't quite accurate on the Lighthouse blog. I've worked for the past 3 summers and winter breaks at Memorial Medical Center in their Family Maternity Suites primarily in the newborn nursery and the special care nursery.

Winter Holiday

2008-06-23T07:53:00.003-05:00

Most (if not all) of the schools in South Africa are year-round, so the kids have short vacations throughout the year instead of one long summer break. Today is their first official day of their winter holiday. Since South Africa is south of the equator, it's actually winter here now. You can read more about that in the post called "Winter in June."

The five older kids who live in the Main House have been outside playing most of the day and have been pleading with me to abandon the toddlers and babies to come play with them. After a couple hours of having toddlers attached to my legs and trying to talk to me all at once, it's nice to have a little break, so I went out and spent some time with the older kids.

Annah, Dineo, Hopie, Mary, and I found a nice spot away from the rest of the kids where I could repaint all their toenails. The last time we did this, the little kids were all over us sticking their fingers in the nail polish and making a big mess. This time we were much more prepared. Although we did get a little spot of pink nail polish on my "camping in Alaska" fleece. That was sad. (But will I still wear it every single evening? Yes!)

This is completely unrelated, but please be praying for Nomhle (pronounced nome-clay) today. She is the Managing Director at Lighthouse and had become very close with Lee Ann over the past 9 months. Nomhle took Lee Ann to Pretoria this morning to meet her new family, and I know it's been a really difficult day for her, so please keep her in your prayers.

Special Visitor

2008-06-22T13:47:00.003-05:00

This afternoon I had a special visitor come over to my flat. After playing with the older kids from the Main House on the playground for a little while, I was ready for some snuggling with our newest little baby. She arrived Friday afternoon, and I've spent a significant amount of time with her each day since.

Unfortunately, I can't use her real name on my blog until she's legally abandoned (which, I believe, takes 60 days). So for now I am going to call her "Hannah."

I asked the caregivers in the baby room if I could "kidnap" her for a little while, and they laughed and told me as long as I didn't leave the property that was fine. So I snuggled her into her yellow fuzzy blanket and carried her outside for a walk.

She was wide awake, so we went for a nice long walk around the Lighthouse property and watched Hope jump rope on the trampoline. I talked to her a lot and kissed on her little cheeks and finally got her to smile! It was so cute! After a while though she fell asleep, so I took her back to my flat where we did some rocking and snuggling in the rocking chair.

Right around dinner time, Dr. Neil showed up, so I took her back to the baby room for a quick check-up with him. He looked her over and thought she looked just fine. I got her all bundled up in her blanket and put her in one of the car seats (since she still isn't too crazy about her crib). Within minutes, she was fast asleep again.

I'm really bonding with little "Hannah." And I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm her mom.

When Love Takes You In

2008-06-21T14:36:00.003-05:00

This weekend as we prepare to say goodbye to Lee Ann and send her off to Sweden with her new family, I keep thinking about the song "When Love Takes You In" by Steven Curtis Chapman. The song is all about the change that occurs in a child's life when he or she is adopted by a loving family. Please watch the music video if you have a chance...it's a really beautiful picture of adoption (and it usually makes me cry).

Coming and Going

2008-06-21T06:30:00.007-05:00

Since today is Saturday, it's supposed to be my free day that I can spend however I choose. It's a good day to do some laundry, catch up on emailing, and spend some time reading. But after sleeping in this morning, I decided to head over to the baby room to see our new little baby (see picture). Isn't she adorable?

She was wide awake when I arrived and acting hungry, so I gave her a bottle while I talked to her and stroked her cheeks. She didn't smile at me like our other new baby did the other day, but she did do lots of cooing and gurgling at me. After she finished her bottle, I walked around the room rocking her for over an hour. Around 1pm, I tried putting her down so that I could go eat some lunch, but she started crying right away. I waited until she was fast asleep, and then I was able to snuggle her into a little car seat without waking her.

When this new baby arrived yesterday, Martha, who turns 1 later this month, had to be moved over to the toddler room to free up a baby crib. So the baby room is full again...but not for long. Lee Ann (see pictures), who is 9 months old, has been adopted by a couple from Sweden and will be leaving us on Monday.

It will be sad to say goodbye, but today I got to see a few pictures of her new family and her bedroom in their house, and I am so excited for her that she's going to have a family who loves her. It makes me so happy to think of them reading her bedtime stories and taking her to the park and the zoo and throwing birthday parties for her. What a blessing to have a mom and a dad!

Please be praying for Lee Ann and her new family as they all prepare to make this big adjustment. And please also pray for safe travels!

New Arrival

2008-06-20T09:49:00.004-05:00

This afternoon another abandoned baby arrived at the shelter. She is only a few weeks old and so sweet. I gave her the once over and filled out her admission form while Sindi, one of the caregivers, gave her a bath and put clean clothes on her.

She seems to be in pretty good condition except for a rash on her cheeks and a blister on her arm. Dr. Neil comes every Saturday, so I'm sure he'll take a look at her while he's here tomorrow.

She would not stop crying, so I rocked her for about an hour, and she finally settled down. I tried placing her in her crib then, but she immediately started wailing again. So I picked her up and gave her a bottle. Then I bundled her up in a blanket and tried putting her back in her crib. This time she fell asleep.

Please be praying for our new little girl. Just like the other babies who have arrived this month, she seems really uncertain of her surroundings and is going to need a lot of love and attention. Also please pray for her health as we are still unsure of her HIV status.

Things I've Learned

2008-06-20T07:50:00.005-05:00

The following are a few things I've learned from my time here in South Africa:

- People you don't know might just come up and hug you. Don't be afraid. They're just being friendly.
- If you overhear someone talking about a robot, they're refering to a stoplight, not an actual robot.
- Showering during the day when it's 70 degrees outside is a much better idea than showering at night when it's 30 degrees outside (and inside).
- When working with babies every day, Shout stain remover is absolutely necessary.
- 100 Rand is equal to about 13 U.S. dollars, so take a deep breath whenever you hear your grand total at the cash register. It's actually much less than what it sounds.
- When stopping on the side of the road to buy fruit, be careful not to let black vendors rip you off. Sometimes with white customers, they increase their prices.
- Unlike in most U.S. malls, there are some really nice restaurants in the mall in Rustenburg.
- You can't really count on electricity. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.
- Therefore, keep a flashlight where you can find it if you're going to be groping around in the dark.
- Space heaters and hot showers are gifts from God. Thank Him for them daily.
- Traffic laws are much more optional and much less enforced here.
- Before entering a shack to pray with someone, turn off your cell phone.
- When a teenage boy tries to teach you Afrikaans, do not repeat anything he says without first verifying with a female. You will be glad you did.
- Holding babies and chasing kids around all day is a great workout, and as an added bonus, you'll sleep really well at night.
- Most African kids are fascinated by Caucasian hair and will stick their fingers in it when given the chance.
- Trampolines and fingernail polish do not mix.

A Day in the Life

2008-06-19T11:06:00.011-05:00

Today was a pretty typical day for me here at Lighthouse...well, except for the fact that I accidentally set my alarm for 7:30pm instead of 7:30am. Fortunately, I woke up on my own at about 8:30, ate my bowl of Special K Red Berries, and was out the door of my flat by 9.

I would normally start out in the baby room since they are just waking up around 8 and need to be fed. But today I headed straight over to the toddlers since I usually make my way over to the toddler/preschool room around 9 or 9:30. I walked in the door, and Joshua (see picture) came flying at me yelling, "MAAA!!" The caregivers were all laughing. I feel like everyone should be greeted like this first thing in the morning.

All the other kids joined in and grabbed hold of my legs and feet. This happens every single day. The kids all pile around me for a few minutes hugging on my legs and talking to me all at once and begging to be picked up. They know whoever gets to me first gets picked up, and everyone else just gets stuck with a leg (see picture).

When they finally detached, we played with blocks and toys for a while. Then I helped them eat their morning snack, which was little bowls of guava. It looked kind of like tomato, but I guess it tastes different. Some of the littler ones that are only 12-20 months old need either to be fed or need some help using the spoon.

Then it was time to play outside. By then it was around 10:30 and had warmed up! I pushed Lebogang and Thabo on the swings, helped some of the 3 and 4 year olds to go down the slide, and "protected" a bunch of the kids from Monty the dog. Once the kids were sufficiently covered in grass and dirt, it was time to go inside and clean up for lunch.

I ran back to my flat for 10-15 minutes to eat some grapes and get a drink of water. By the time the kids finish their lunches, I am really hungry, so I always try to have a morning snack.

Lunchtime works in shifts: first, the 12-18 month olds are fed their lunches, and then the older toddlers and preschoolers sit down at their little tables to eat lunch (see picture). When I got back from my snack, I fed Lebogang her bowl of baby squash and managed to get very little on my clothes (which is not the norm...she likes to play while she eats!). Then I prayed with the older kids and broke Grace and Sheila's sandwiches into bite-sized pieces for them. I ended up feeding most of the pieces to Gracie because I've spoiled her and she likes it when I make the pieces like airplanes flying into her mouth. Once the kids finish their sandwich, they receive a glass (or sippy cup) of milk. So I traded lots of empty plates for cups of milk.

Next I fed Gomotsegang (pronounced ho-mote-say-hahn), who is one of our special needs kids. I fed her some baby squash with a towel draped over my front (which is a good thing because we got a whole lot of baby squash on that towel). She tends to eat a spoonful and then spit it all out again. It gets very messy.

Now it was time for my lunch. The kids were all going down for naps, so I ran back to my flat and made a turkey and cheese wrap. When I finished eating, I grabbed my Bible and found a nice sunny spot to read on the Lighthouse property. I've been reading about 5 chapters of Psalms each day (so that I'll finish the book by the time I come home in August). And I also read Proverbs 19 since it's the 19th day of the month and there are 31 chapters in Proverbs. I borrowed that idea from my friend Renee and have been doing that for several months now.

Next I spent a couple hours in the baby room. I met 3 local high school girls who were in there volunteering today. I spent most of my time in the baby room holding and rocking Gontse (see picture), who is 9 months old and has a nasty cough. He hasn't been feeling well this week and just needs some extra love and attention. I also gave a bottle to Tsolofelo, a sweet little one month old girl.

Around 3pm I came back to my flat for a little break. I took my camera into the office and uploaded some pictures I had taken onto the computer and saved them on my flash drive. Then I put some of the best ones on Facebook.

After my short break, I headed back to the toddler room. I popped in a Kids' Worship DVD, and several of the kids came and sang and danced to it with me. Sheila (see picture) runs around randomly singing the line, "I'm in the Lord's Army!" It's so cute. So today she got to hear the song on the DVD and got so excited!

At dinnertime, I fed Gracie and tried to coax the others to eat. I also helped to round up the littler ones and put them in their cribs. Lebogang cried and cried, but I didn't give in this time and she finally settled down. (Those of you who are parents, I don't know how you do it!)

Next, it was back to my flat where I made some pasta (on the stove!) for dinner and cut up a pear. I also had some African fruit juice, which is amazing. I really want to bring some home with me!

So that was a pretty typical day for me. Now I'm updating my blog, checking my emails, and probably getting on Skype to chat with my mom. Then later I'll read, maybe do some knitting, and head to bed!

Back to Kanana

2008-06-18T08:33:00.005-05:00

Today I went back to the village of Kanana with Noel, the youth pastor at the Assemblies of God church, and a few young adults from the youth group. We dropped off more blankets and food at the clinic to be distributed and found out that there were no translators available to go out into the village with us today. I asked Noel if we could just go out without them, but he explained that the translators are also serve as caregivers and know where the sickest people live. Without them, we wouldn't really know where to go.

So instead we stopped at the little Christian preschool (see pictures above and below this paragraph) in Kanana and visited Ruben, an older man who runs the school and lives right next to it. He showed us the inside, and we were disappointed to find that there were no kids there today. We prayed over him, gave him a bag full of food, and headed on our way.

Noel stopped at a burger place called BJ's on the way back into town, and we all ate cheeseburgers and fries (called "chips") together. Since we couldn't go out into the village, Noel decided we should have "fellowship" instead. I've met some really nice people through the church, and it was fun to get to spend some time just getting to know them better. (Sidenote: At lunch today, I also learned that African boys can be just as immature as American boys.)

Please continue to pray for those who are very sick with AIDS living in Kanana. Like the people in Freedom Park, they live in very poor conditions, and many do not have access to the medical care that they really need. Please be praying not only for physical healing and restoration, but also that they would come to know Jesus as their Savior before it's too late.

False Alarm

2008-06-17T10:58:00.009-05:00

This morning I was feeling really sad because Lebogang, my sweet little 17-month-old, was gone. I knew it was coming sometime soon, but it was so sad to see her crib empty when I walked into the toddler room this morning. Unfortunately for me, she was the child I've gotten most attached to since coming here.

Lebogang (pronounced lay-bo-hahn) is HIV positive, and since she will probably never be adopted, she is being transferred to a long term AIDS facility in Johannesburg, about 2 hours away. Lighthouse takes in children who have been abandoned or who are in crisis situations, but it is not intended to be long-term facility. The goal is to place all the children either with adoptive families or in the appropriate long-term facility like this one in Joburg.

Lebogang is very healthy now, and with good nutrition and the right combination of antiretroviral drugs, she may continue to be in good health for a few years. But the majority of children who are HIV positive don't make it past age 5, so she will probably begin to decline in the next few years. Please pray for her continued good health and for her care at this new facility (especially that she will learn there just how much Jesus loves and treasures her).

The reason this post is entitled "False Alarm" is because when I came to help feed the kids their dinner tonight, Lebogang was back! She spotted me across the room and screeched, "MAAAA MAAAA!!" I almost cried. Apparently she had been at the government hospital all day getting the full work-up so all her medical records can be transferred with her to Joburg. It was exciting to get to spend more time with her tonight, but she is still going to be leaving us very soon.

Smiles

2008-06-16T14:23:00.004-05:00

This morning I spent some time in the baby room with our newest little girl, who is about 3 months old. She seems to be doing well here, although she can still be pretty fussy and wants to be held all the time. I was holding her today and talking to her and stroking her little cheeks, and all of a sudden out of nowhere she smiled this big beautiful baby smile at me. We didn't even know she could smile. But there it was.

I gave her a bottle, and she continued to occasionally smile at me. It was so sweet. I think she's starting to like it here. :)

Father's Day

2008-06-15T05:46:00.003-05:00

Today Janis and David are in Pretoria (about 2 hours away) because David is speaking at a church there for Father's Day. So Lorinda and I were in charge of taking the 7 oldest children (ages 4 and up) to the Assemblies of God church. It was quite the adventure. Once we got them all into their Sunday School classrooms, though, we were able to enjoy the worship service without distractions.

The service was awesome. In the middle of the song "None But Jesus," which is one of my very favorites, the worship leader spoke about how God is our heavenly Father and longs to be close to us. He longs to embrace us and hold us in His arms. Then he asked all the men in the church who are leaders and also fathers to come forward and stand in the front. We were then invited forward to experience a "father hug" from any one of these men while we continued to sing. It was really powerful. Men and women, young and old came forward to receive a "father hug." I just stayed in my seat and took it all in.

The most powerful moment to me was when a young man (about my age) stepped forward and fell into the arms of the pastor sobbing. The pastor held him in his arms for a long time without saying anything, and then he prayed over him quietly while we continued to sing. I think it was the best Father's Day service I've been to.

P.S. Happy Father's Day, Kenny! I love you! :)

The Bird Farm

2008-06-15T05:38:00.005-05:00

Yesterday Janis and I took the 4 older girls (Annah, Dineo, Hopie, and Mary) to the Bird Farm in Rustenburg for a fun afternoon outing. The Bird Farm started out as a nursery where you could buy all kinds of different flowers and plants. But now they also have a little cafe, a playground, and more than a hundred different types of birds.

We ate toasted sandwiches for lunch in the cafe and then walked through all the different birds: big and small, some very colorful, some very funny looking. (Kenny, the whole time I was thinking about you and how much you would have loved it! I wish I could have taken a picture of each one for you!)

They also had a few farm animals, some marmosets, and monkeys. The girls fed leaves to the goats and held my hands really tightly whenever any of the chickens came near us. After we had seen all the birds and animals, the girls played on the playground for a while, and Janis bought them some cotton candy (which they call "candy floss") for the road.

It was a fun afternoon, and I enjoyed getting to spend a little extra time with the older girls. :)

An Excerpt

2008-06-14T15:23:00.003-05:00

I just finished reading "The Irresistable Revolution" by Shane Claiborne, and it was fantastic. I think I'll probably end up reading it again before the summer is over. Throughout the book, the author paints an incredible picture of what it looks like to really live and breathe for Jesus Christ.

There are so many parts of this book I want to share with you (basically you just need to read it!), but one story in particular in the last chapter of the book really stands out to me. I'm going to share it here, and I really encourage you to take the time to read it. It's a beautiful analogy of what it looks like to live your life passionately for Jesus...

My grandfather used to bale hay, and he was notorious for buying new tractors and equipment without my grandmother's consent. So this one summer, he had just gotten a brand-new truck and trailer and wanted to "break 'em in." So he and my uncle began loading up the hay bales scattered across the field, stacking them higher and higher, pushing it to the limit. Finally, they hit the road with the hay, my uncle driving and my grandfather riding along proudly. What they didn't notice was that one of the hay bales was rubbing against a tire. Which is pure trouble, thanks to a little thing called friction.

Before long, the hay bale caught on fire, then another and another. (It's hay.) Eventually, the truck looked like a comet headed down the highway. And they didn't notice. They were probably just talking about how nice the truck ran or jamming to the Chuckwagon Gang. People began to wave hysterically, and my uncle nodded back. (That's how we roll in East Tennessee.) But eventually, he looked in the mirror and saw the flames behind them, and they quickly pulled over and got out of the truck.

This created new problems, since now the flames that had been behind them raged upward and began to melt the back of the truck. My uncle noticed my grandfather had the glove compartment opened, and he asked what he was doing. My grandfather pointed to the pile of stuff he'd pulled out and said, "Well, I don't want this stuff to burn too." But my uncle was not so quick to give in. He snapped back, "No, get back in the truck." So they did.

My uncle hit the pedal and they were on the highway again, this time with the goal of getting rid of the fire. He began to swerve so the hay bales fell off behind them. But then the fields began to catch on fire. Pretty soon fire trucks from all the neighboring counties were following along behind them, trying to limit the damage, and they finally managed to extinguish the inferno.

My grandfather told me, after he got out of jail (just kidding), "Shane, we caught half of East Tennessee on fire." We laughed and laughed. And I thought to myself, that is what the kingdom of God looks like. Christians blaze through this dark world and set it on fire with their love. It is contagious and spreads like wildfire. We are people who shine, who burn up the darkness of this old world with the light that dwells within us. And perhaps the world will ask what in the world passed through here.

What a beautiful picture. I think that when Jesus talks about letting our light shine before men, so often we picture ourselves as a candle or a flashlight in the darkness. Well, I don't know about you, but I'd much rather be a wildfire.

Mall Outing

2008-06-13T09:29:00.005-05:00

This afternoon Janis dropped me off at the mall in Rustenburg for a couple hours so that I could pick up a few things. As much as I love the babies and toddlers here, it was nice to have a little time to myself today. It was also nice to have a little change of scenery.

I have been reading a lot in the evenings (I've already finished 2 books since I've been here), so I bought a couple C.S. Lewis books at the Christian bookstore. I also picked up a few groceries at Pick 'n Pay (since I eat a ridiculous amount of Special K Red Berries each week).

Then I hit up the craft store and found some knitting needles and yarn so that I can start working on a scarf. For those of you who are aware of how challenged I am when it comes to arts and crafts, I assure you that I do know how to knit. I just don't usually have the time to do it.

The most exciting purchase of the day was a "minx sherpa fleece" from an outdoors store called Cape Union Mart. I must have looked in 10 different stores for the warmest sweatshirt or fleece I could find, and most were either really expensive or not very warm. Then I discovered this beautiful fleece that looks like it was made for mountain climbing or for camping in a blizzard. And it was on sale! I'm pretty sure I'm going to wear it every evening for the next 8 weeks. Have I mentioned that it gets down into the 30s each night and all I have in my flat is a space heater and a little air conditioning unit that blows warm air? I'm SO excited about my mountain climbing fleece!!! :)

Funny Kids

2008-06-13T05:38:00.005-05:00

Phumelo (in the picture) is 4 years old and attends preschool, so he has been working on learning his colors. Several times this week, he's pointed at something and asked, "What color is that, Mommy?" I'll tell him, and he'll repeat it to me. He's definitely improved as the week has gone on.

But then today he came up to me while I was pushing Tshepiso on the swings, pointed at my skin, and asked me what color that was. I didn't know what to say. My first thought was tan or beige, but then I wondered if he meant more along the lines of white or Caucasian. I looked over at one of the caregivers, and she just laughed and said, "Phumelo, stop bothering Sam."

Also today Reneilwe walked up to me and said, "Hallelujah!" But she pronounces it "holla-lu-lah." How adorable! I think she must have learned it from the kids' worship cd they listen to sometimes. Now she comes up and says it to me and starts laughing because she knows I think it's funny.

The other day Joshua, who is a little over a year old, took off his tennis shoe (takkie) and just randomly flung it into the swimming pool. Then he just stood there and smiled and clapped his hands, so pleased with himself. All the other toddlers gathered around to watch the shoe sink to the bottom. It was pretty funny.

Another New Addition

2008-06-12T05:49:00.004-05:00

Yesterday while I was serving in Freedom Park, another new baby arrived at the shelter. I first met her this morning, and she is so sweet! She is a tiny little 3-month-old who was abandoned by her mother, discovered, and brought to Lighthouse.

I've spent a lot of time rocking her today. Once she falls asleep, I try to put her down in her crib, but she always wakes up and cries. So I think she and I will be spending a lot of time together in the rocking chair.

In other news, our new little guy who was abandoned this past Saturday was reclaimed by his mother the other day. I'm not sure exactly why she changed her mind, but she decided to come get him. Please pray for this little baby as he goes back to his family.

Freedom Park

2008-06-11T11:27:00.006-05:00

Today I went with Noel, the youth pastor at the Assemblies of God church, and a few young adults from his youth group out to Freedom Park, a squatter camp outside Rustenburg. It reminded me a lot of the Gypsy village in Romania: houses that look like tiny shacks, no plumbing or electricity, garbage everywhere, kids running around barefoot. It never gets any easier to see poverty like this and to realize that people actually live this way.

We stopped first at the Freedom Park clinic (seen in the above photo) and dropped off food and blankets to be given to the families who need them the most. We also had several small foam mattresses for families with small children. Then with the help of 2 translators from the clinic, we walked through the camp, stopping at several houses to visit the sick and the dying and to pray over them.

More than 70% of the people who live in Freedom Park are HIV positive, and many are suffering from full-blown AIDS. The clinic provides many of the people with the medications they need to reduce what is called the viral load. When the viral load is low, they are better able to fight off infections and have a better quality of life.

But for a variety of reasons, many of the people choose not to go to the clinic. Many are afraid of the stigma of having AIDS and would rather die quietly than to admit to their neighbors and friends that they have contracted the virus. Others do not even want to believe themselves that they are sick, so they refuse to get help.

Please pray for all the people in Freedom Park who are sick and dying of AIDS. Most do not have a comfortable bed to sleep on or medicine to take for pain or nausea. They also live in tiny houses that get very hot during the day and very cold during the night.

It made me sad to be out there today and to remember that many of our babies from Lighthouse were abandoned by families in Freedom Park. But I'm so glad to know that these children do not have to grow up in such terrible conditions. Here they have warm beds, good health care, clean clothes, and, most importantly, they learn about Jesus' love for them.

Adoption and HIV

2008-06-09T11:20:00.009-05:00

Please be praying for the adoption situation here in South Africa. As of right now, Americans cannot adopt children from South Africa. Most of the children here at Lighthouse are adopted to families in Scandinavia. They do very well there, but many more of them would be adopted if American citizens were allowed to adopt also (since the United States has such a large population and because adoption is so common among American families).

The sad truth is that in the history of the Lighthouse Children's Shelter, no family has ever gone through with the adoption of an HIV positive child. Janis and David, the directors, have had American families express interest in adopting these sick children, but they currently cannot.

I was under the impression that this was South Africa's government keeping Americans from adopting, but I learned the other day that it is actually the United States that is holding up the process.

Please be praying for a quick resolution to this unfortunate situation.

Please also pray for Kele (pronounced Kelly), age 2, who has been in and out of the hospital and is battling AIDS.

Nail Polish

2008-06-09T11:04:00.008-05:00

I spent yesterday afternoon with the 4 older girls at the shelter including Janis and David's daughter Hope, age 7, and 3 girls from the Main House: Annah, age 8, Dineo, age 7, and Mary, age 3, who acts like she's about my age. I brought out 3 bottles of nail polish from my flat and painted each of the girls' toe nails. Then I agreed to let them paint mine. We all had a great time!

in case you were wondering how my toes turned out...

Winter in June

2008-06-08T10:36:00.005-05:00

Since South Africa is south of the equator, it's actually winter here right now. But winter here is very different from winter in the States. During the day, it's beautiful, sunny, and warm...usually in the 70s or 80s. But around dinnertime, it starts to get cooler. By the time darkness falls, it's in the 30s or 40s!

In my flat, I have an air conditioning unit that blows warm air during the winter, but it really only heats the living room. The rest of the house is freezing! My first night here, I couldn't get my heater to work. I later discovered that it only runs when the kitchen light is on...go figure. Anyhow, I woke up the next morning and could see my breath. Not cool.

I'm getting more used to the cold now. I walk around the house in the evenings dressed in lots of layers and wrapped up in a blanket. I also usually eat my breakfast and my dinner wrapped up in the blanket in front of the heater. It's probably a pretty amusing sight.

So if you are in Illinois right now where I hear that it's been very warm, just know that I'm a little bit jealous of you. But not enough to come home yet. :)

P.S. Thanks so much for all your encouraging comments, emails, and especially your prayers. It means so much to me. I have such wonderful friends!

New Baby

2008-06-07T09:35:00.004-05:00

We received a new baby this afternoon. I'm not sure of all the details, but he was abandoned and found this morning. The police brought him here a couple of hours ago. Dr. Neil and I both guessed he's about 3-4 weeks old.

He smelled really bad when he arrived and was covered in dirt and dust. Elsie gave him a bath and scrubbed all the dust out of his hair. She put a clean blue sleeper on him, and we gave him the once over. He seems perfectly healthy except for an inguinal hernia and an umbilical hernia. We don't know his HIV status yet.

I gave him a bottle of formula, and he ate very well. Then I rocked him for a while, and he fell asleep in my arms. I'm so glad to know he's going to be safe and well cared for here at Lighthouse.

SHS Graduation

2008-06-07T05:33:00.002-05:00

Happy Graduation Day to my sister Elizabeth! Congratulations! :)

Learning English

2008-06-07T05:22:00.007-05:00

Yesterday a team from New Mexico was here at Lighthouse for a couple hours to play with the babies and toddlers. They were so excited to discover that I am from the States and actually know that New Mexico is not the same as Mexico. They had lots of questions for me.

One of the guys from the team asked me if I had picked up any words from the African languages yet. In the Northwest Province (where I'm living) most of the white people speak English and Afrikaans, and most of the black people speak English and Tswana.

I explained that although I'm hoping to learn some of the languages here, I'm first just trying to learn South African English, which is somewhat different from the English we speak in the States. The locals speak with a thick British accent, and they use a lot of words and phrases that we don't usually use.

Here are a few examples:

pick-up truck = bakkie
tennis shoes = takkies
diapers = nappies
see you later = see you just now
pacifier = dummy
any break from school including the weekend = holiday
cookies = biscuits
potato chips = crisps
apartment = flat
grades (i.e. 1st grade, 2nd grade) = standards

Several times now I've caught myself speaking with a hint of a British accent, and I have a feeling after 9 more weeks here that this is going to become more of an issue. :)

Pictures of my Flat

2008-06-05T14:13:00.006-05:00

Shopping in Rustenburg

2008-06-05T13:13:00.003-05:00

Today I was finally able to do a little shopping in town to get groceries and a few other items I needed. Shannon, a young woman who volunteers at Lighthouse on Tuesdays and Thursdays, was working with me in the baby room this morning and offered to take me to the grocery store. I guess she was planning on going this morning anyway.

So we drove to Woolworth's, which looks like an American department store, but has a small grocery store inside towards the back. I picked up lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, milk, cereal, and lots of easy to make dinners like pasta. I also bought a couple microwave dinners just in case. :)

Later in the afternoon, Lorinda, who lives and works at Lighthouse, took me with her to the drugstore. I had brought travel size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, etc. to save space in my suitcase, so I bought the full size bottles today here in Rustenburg.

We also stopped in a little bakery to sample samosas since Lorinda discovered I had never tried them and was sure that my life would not be complete until I had sampled one. They were delicious!

Visit to Kanana

2008-06-05T12:42:00.004-05:00

Yesterday morning after helping out in the baby room for a couple of hours, Nomhle, the managing director of Lighthouse, drove me out to the Assemblies of God church (where the Lighthouse staff and kids attend church each Sunday) to meet Noel, the youth pastor. Noel takes some of the young adults in his youth group each Wednesday out to either Freedom Park or Kanana, which are both very poor areas just outside Rustenburg.

Janis put this on my weekly schedule for Wednesdays, and I agreed to try it to see if it was something I wanted to continue doing. I got to meet 4 young people from the youth group: Lou Ann, Andre, Stella, and Steven. All of us piled into Noel's truck (here called a bakkie) and headed out to the village of Kanana.

We stopped first at the Kanana Clinic to drop off food and blankets donated by the church. The clinic has limited resources but tries to help the many people of the village who are sick and dying of AIDS. I'm not sure about Kanana, but Noel told me that in Freedom Park, over 70% of the people are HIV positive.

We drove through the village stopping at several houses to visit the sick and pray over them. It was really neat. We prayed with one woman who was very sick, lying on an air mattress covered in blankets, and dying of AIDS. She asked to receive Jesus in her heart, and we helped her pray to accept Jesus.

As Noel drove me back to Lighthouse, I told him I definitely want to join them when they go to Freedom Park next week. Kanana was definitely a poor village, but Freedom Park is considered a squatter camp, and the people there are even poorer and sicker than the people in Kanana.

Please be praying for these people that even if God does not heal their physical bodies of disease that they will have the opportunity to hear about Jesus and accept Him into their hearts before they die.

First Days in Africa

2008-06-03T11:35:00.003-05:00

I arrived safely in South Africa yesterday and am getting adjusted to the new time zone and my new surroundings. I have to admit that I felt a little uneasy when I first stepped off the plane into a country where the only people I knew I had never actually met in person. But once I met Janis and David, the directors of the orphanage, and their daughter Hope, I felt much better.

Last night we stopped for dinner outside Johannesburg (the city where my plane landed) and then made the hour and 45 minute drive to the city of Rustenburg. By the time we arrived at the orphanage, it was dark and I was feeling completely worn out after my long day and night of traveling.

I am living in a small apartment (here they call it a flat) on the property. I didn't really know what to expect since accommodations on missions are not usually the greatest. But it's really nice! I have a small living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and two bedrooms. It's small, but very nice.

Probably the funniest thing about my flat is the kitchen, which is fully equipped for gourmet cooking. I told Janis today that I walk in there and feel intimidated. The most complicated thing I've cooked to date is an omelet or maybe some break-and-bake cookies. It's just sad. Hopefully I will figure out a few more things while I'm here.

Today I didn't really have a set schedule since I am still recuperating from the jet lag. I slept great last night, but still feel pretty tired today. Janis gave me the full tour of the property including the baby room, the toddler room, and the main house where 5 older kids live. I have loved getting to spend some time with the kids today. They are so much fun! The babies call me "mama" which I kind of love. I know it's going to be so hard to leave here in August. I am starting to get attached to these kids already, and it's only day one.

This afternoon I rode with Janis to pick up the kids from school. They were hoping I would be able to help with shuttling kids around this summer, but since they drive on the left side of the road AND all the cars are stick shift, I'm thinking that may not happen. I feel like I could probably master one or the other, but both might be pushing it.

Tonight I ate dinner with Janis and David and their two younger children Hope and Daniel. They are aware of my kitchen struggles and took pity on me. We had potato soup with mixed fruit on the side. They are taking such great care of me. I'm so grateful that they live right next door to me on the grounds.

Well, I think that's all for now. I hope all is well back in the States! I miss you all very much!!

Packed and Ready

2008-05-31T21:05:00.004-05:00

I just spent the last several hours stressing out over what I should bring with me to Africa and what I should leave at home. I'm usually so good at packing just what I need for missions trips or vacations, but I've never packed for a 10-week trip before. I think I'm finally finished and am feeling much more relaxed now. I also went to church with my family tonight in the middle of my packing, and that really helped me to put things in perspective too.

We are leaving our house tomorrow morning at 8am in order to make it to the airport in St. Louis by 10am. My flight leaves for Washington D.C. at 12:40pm. From there, I'm catching a 15-hour flight to Johannesburg, South Africa. I've got books, magazines, a couple of Sudoku books, and my iPod to keep me occupied. But I have a feeling I'm still going to be feeling pretty antsy after 15 hours on a plane.

Around 8am Monday morning (Illinois time), I will be landing in South Africa! I am so excited to spend my summer loving on the babies at the orphanage and serving however I can. I can't believe the time has come already!

Please pray for safe travels tomorrow...for me and also for my family who will be on the road between Springfield and St. Louis. Thank you!

Leaving again...

2008-05-30T11:07:00.003-05:00

I'm leaving for South Africa in 48 hours! I was just starting to get used to Illinois time, and now it's time to change time zones again. I'm so excited! A little anxious, but really excited.

Back in the U.S.

2008-05-27T16:54:00.009-05:00

How can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."
Romans 10:14-15

I'm back from Romania! Now I have the next few days at home to recuperate from the jet lag and reflect on all that we saw and experienced on this trip. I know from previous missions trips that it's going to take me a while to process it all and fully understand what God taught me and how He worked in my heart on this trip.

What an absolutely incredible 10 days! God is so good! My words could never do justice to the amazing ways that God worked in Tinca, the Gypsy village, this week. He is so big and so mighty, and we witnessed firsthand this week that our God can do ANYTHING!

Since our group was so big (126 young adults), we were able to do lots of different projects and activities throughout the week. All of us spent the first day picking up garbage in a big field where the Gypsy children play. It was covered with broken glass, dirty diapers, and cow carcasses, and sadly most of the children run around in this field without shoes. I spent the rest of the week painting the front room and the kids' bedroom at the Isaiah Center, an orphanage for Gypsy children in Tinca, and doing Vacation Bible School with the kids in the village.

I have so many stories from our time in Romania, but it would take forever to tell them all in this post! Instead I'm going to summarize the past 10 days with a few numbers:

-11 people from our team were baptized in a river in Tinca
-1 member of our team accepted Jesus as her Savior
-Dozens of members of our team rededicated their lives to Jesus
-22 outhouses were constructed in the Gypsy village
-1 entire house was rebuilt from the ground up
-2 roofs were rebuilt
-1 playground/swingset was constructed at the Isaiah Center for the children
-30 Gypsies came forward to accept Jesus after viewing a film about Jesus in their language
-100's of Gypsy children attended Vacation Bible School all week long
-more than $25,000 was raised beyond what we needed to travel to Romania and was donated to Forget Me Not Ministries to serve the needs of the Gypsy people
-126 lives and one Gypsy village in Romania were changed forever

What an incredible trip! What an awesome God we serve!

Go Time

2008-05-15T10:46:00.006-05:00

I'm flying to Romania TODAY!!

Please be praying for safe travel for all 126 of us as we fly out today and tomorrow. I won't be able to update while I'm there, but you can read updates from our trip leader at the Fuel website.

I Heart Revolution

2008-05-13T22:54:00.002-05:00

I absolutely love this video from Australian worship band Hillsong United. Their latest album "I Heart Revolution" is focused on being the hands and feet of Jesus across the globe...

p.s. I'm leaving for Romania in less than 48 hours! :)

Miscellaneous

2008-05-07T12:37:00.003-05:00

Today I have several loosely related thoughts to share (hence the title).

1. This week I am "detoxing" from caffeine since I am kind of a Starbucks addict and did not want to be experiencing withdrawal symptoms while in Romania or Africa. After my first missions trip to Costa Rica, I concluded that the worst part about going on a missions trip was having to come home again. Now I've decided that the second worst part is the caffeine withdrawal prior to leaving. I feel like my body is angry at me for depriving it of what it wants. I'm drinking a cup of hot chocolate right now in an attempt to ease the suffering. haha.

2. It's been really interesting to hear peoples' responses when I tell them I'm spending my summer in Africa. Most have been similar: people are really excited for me, will be praying for me, can't wait to hear all about my adventures there. But the other day, I got a response that was completely unexpected. I told a friend what my summer plans were. Her eyes got really big, and she exclaimed, "You're going to get so tan!" I don't even remember what I said. I think I just laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess so."

3. Last night I picked out a new suitcase since the one I've been using for my 7-10 day mission trips probably won't be big enough for 10 weeks in Africa. My new suitcase is purple and beautiful, and it was on sale. It just doesn't get any better than that!

8 days until Romania... :)

there is no one else for me
none but jesus
crucified to set me free
now I live to bring him praise

all my delight is in you lord
all of my hope and all of my strength
all my delight is in you lord
forevermore

Romania

2008-05-04T20:54:00.004-05:00

Today we had our final meeting for the Romania trip. Last fall when they showed the promotional video at my church, God completely broke my heart over the neglected and abandoned Gypsy children who live there. I felt so strongly that God was calling me to go on this trip and turned in my deposit the very next week.

Now our departure is only 10 days away. In 10 days, 126 young adults from the college/young adult ministry at Eastview Christian Church will be flying to Romania to build outhouses, pick up trash, love on children, and simply spend time talking with and investing in the Gypsy people.

These people are considered outcasts in Romania. They are not thought of as people, but as animals...less than human. They are not even counted in the country's census.

We are hoping to show them the love that Jesus has for them through the time we are spending in their village doing work projects and getting to know them. The language barrier is going to be a challenge, but we do have several translators going with us each day, so that will help!

Please pray that God will be preparing the hearts of the Gypsy people to receive us into their community and to accept the message of hope we will be sharing with them.

Take a look at this video that was made about the trip:

Albertine

2008-05-01T15:17:00.007-05:00

I love this song. It's a song called "Albertine" by Brooke Fraser. After spending time in Africa, she says, "now that I have seen, I am responsible."

The Bible tells us in Philippians 4, "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice." This concept doesn't just apply to missions. It means that whenever God teaches us something new or changes our heart in some regard, we are to carry it with us. We are now responsible.

In the same way, it also means that when I return from South Africa in August, I am responsible for what I've seen and experienced there. I am responsible for telling people what God taught me and showed me there and how He continued to shape my heart.

Professors

2008-04-23T16:34:00.004-05:00

This past week a few of my nursing professors have asked me about my summer plans, and I've had the opportunity to share with them about the mission trip to Romania in May and then my trip to South Africa for the rest of the summer. Their responses have all been similar: they are concerned for my safety traveling to another continent by myself and they really want to believe that these trips are somehow intended to further my nursing career.

When I was telling one of my professors that I would be working in orphanages on both trips, she said, "Oh, so you must love pediatrics!" Of course, I'm thinking to myself, "No, I just really love Jesus!"

Connections

2008-04-21T22:52:00.004-05:00

God never ceases to amaze me. He is so much bigger than we can even comprehend...

I have known for a few weeks now that Janis and David Betzer, the directors of the orphanage in South Africa, are originally from Pawnee, Illinois. My friend Kyle (from IWU) is from Pawnee, and he told me the other day that his mom is good friends with Janis.

But it gets even crazier than that. Janis' parents attend the same church as my next-door neighbors, Kenny and Carolyn, who are very much like grandparents to me. I discovered today that they know each other well and talked at church this weekend about me and my upcoming travels to the orphanage in South Africa. Now we're planning a get-together for my family, Kenny and Carolyn, and Janis' parents, so we can meet and get to know one another before I leave.

Just in case I wasn't completely convinced that this adventure is God's will, now it seems that God is making it undeniably clear that He is calling me to go and serve at Lighthouse. It's a relief to know that this wasn't just some crazy idea that I had, but that this really is His plan for me. I cannot wait to see what this summer has in store. I know that if this is His will that it's going to be absolutely incredible and far better than I could ever imagine.

Yours

2008-04-16T16:58:00.002-05:00

An excerpt from the song "Yours" by Steven Curtis Chapman:

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
And they're waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear the children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded that every child in Africa is yours...

What a semester!

2008-04-14T19:17:00.000-05:00

This semester God has brought me on an incredible journey. It has not been easy. As humans, we don't like following a path unless we know where it leads. And there were definitely times when it was really challenging to continue trusting and following Him. If you had asked me back in December about my summer plans, I would have told you that I was planning to work in a neonatal intensive care unit as a summer nurse extern. But apparently my plan and God's plan were not the same.

Instead, after returning from a 10-day mission trip to Romania in May, I will be flying to South Africa to serve for two months in an orphanage called Lighthouse Children's Shelter that is the temporary home to 35 babies and young children, many of whom are HIV positive. Although it was not what I had planned, I feel certain that it was what God had planned for me, and I am looking forward to this adventure! I cannot wait to see what God teaches me this summer and how this experience will impact my relationship with Him. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned this past semester about trusting God, seeking His will, and waiting for answers.