Final Goodbyes

I'm going to miss South Africa so much.

I'm going to miss the mountains and the red dirt and the brush fires.

I'm going to miss the palm trees and the fresh fruit and the beautiful animals.

I'm going to miss being able to watch the news in five different languages and how clearly you can see the stars at night.

Even more so, I'm going to miss the Betzer family, the Lighthouse staff, and the wonderful caregivers and volunteers.

I'm going to miss the awesome people I've met through the Assemblies of God church, the youth group kids, and the people in my Wednesday night small group (who threw me a farewell party tonight!).

I'm especially going to miss the kids at Lighthouse Children's Shelter.

I'm going to miss tying shoes and listening to the same kids' worship CDs over and over and pushing kids on swings.

I'm going to miss answering to "mommy" and constantly having a toddler or two on my hip and chasing kids around.

I'm going to miss working on body parts with Tshepiso and working on colors with Phemelo.

I'm going to miss breaking Grace's sandwich into bite-sized pieces every day and watching Gomotsegang spill her milk all over the place.

I'm going to miss reading bedtime stories to the kids in the Main House and saying bedtime prayers.

I'm going to miss hearing Lebogang screech "MAA MAAAA!!!" from across the property and the way Mpho says "Sa-MAN-ta!" every time he sees me.

I'm going to miss feeding babies and getting covered in baby food daily and using my Tide Pen on my clothes every night.

I'm going to miss Mbali's laugh and Rethabile's two front teeth and Joshua's giraffe slippers.

I'm going to miss knowing how to spell every child's name, how many months old they are, their favorite activities, and what foods they won't eat.

I'm going to miss knowing to whom each and every little shoe belongs and knowing each baby just by hearing their cry.

I think more than anything or anyone else I'm going to miss Karabo whom many of the Lighthouse staff call "Sam's baby."

I'm going to miss her smile, the way she smells, and her tiny little toes.

I'm going to miss the way she sucks on her fingers when she's hungry, her sweet little laugh, and the way she looks when she's sleeping.

I'm going to miss her the way she looks like a baby bird when she eats soft porridge, the way she giggles when I kiss her fingers, and, most of all, I'm going to miss seeing her and spending time with her every single day.

Basically I've been an emotional wreck for the past couple days, and I think I'm just ready for these painful goodbyes to be over with.